I want to move on so desperately, this guy is still stuck in my head, why?

Its been months and i still can't get him out of my head. It's really depressing and i want to find closure. What can i do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • In all reality there is no such thing as closure it is a myth and needs to be demolished from the mindsets of all who suffer. Closure how you are seeking it will only confuse you and allow those old feelings to arise hope from a hopeless situation and keep you wanting to hold the door open.
    How many times when you leave your home (forgetting nothing) do you shut the door behind you? ONCE right? so just realize there is no need to open that damn door again just to shut it.
    I am sorry you are feeling this pain and still holding on to lost dreams. I need to come across direct not because I do not care about your feelings or empathize. I need to because you have wasted way too much time as it is.
    Life is meant for the living. I am happy you are asking what to do. Listen to me, I have been through this many times before and have had many relationships that did not workout and when it was over I focused on what I could have done differently or if she would just communicate with me all will be better.
    I needed to realize that person did not workout for a really good reason.
    "THAT WAS NOT THE PERSON THAT IS DESIGNED FOR ME (you) !" We think we can force something to work. How many times did you say or hear we are working on our relationship? or everything coming together? etc...
    Well a relationship is either THERE or not. it is effortless. Effortless in every single aspect of knowledge and reality. You may feel that everything was perfect and great now when you are missing this person, however there was a reason why it ended and one or two situations does not get credit for ruining it. Simply put it was not true love nor anything you deserve to suffer over any longer.
    Nearing the Holidays people feel they need companionship but how many times in your life did you wish for someone else to be next to you during these times instead of someone you are wanting things to eventually work?
    So take this time to find your inner happiness with your Higher Power by your side. Rely on that power to guide your every emotion even if it takes or relieves you minute by minute keep taking to your Creator. I absolutely know that you have a perfect and I mean a stunningly perfect person waiting to meet and be with someone as amazing as you are. So be one with your Creator focus on being you and what makes you happy. Realize that no one person can bring you happiness but only enhance it. So get out of your funk by being stuck in the past. and prepare for the guy that wants to be

    • Thank you for you advice. The situation is just a bit more complicated. We are both married, have both children and live totally different lifes. It's a really strange situation as we never in person talked about anything (we work in the same place) I'm afraid if I will talk to him about it that he'll just deny everything and make it even more awkward. We once talked through a friend who told me that he liked me but then I started to get even more confused as his friend from one day to another just stopped talking to me. So yeah I kinda feel like I'm in limbo right now.

    • YIKES you are married? love the one you are with. You are feeding a hopeless emotional love affair. You are not in limbo you are searching outside while inside there a guy that deserves your full attention. Until a divorce is complete nobody should be searching for any emotional or possible connection. it just plain isn't fair to your husband. Please focus on him.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It must be hard on you. There is no advice that can mend your heart, but only things that you can do for yourself.

    It is probably time to find yourself and do the things you always wanted to do. Think of the things you wished you could have done when you were in the relationship and for some reason couldn't then. Also what helped me in my own break up situation was to meditate, its a great way.
    Socialize, write journals. Get to know yourself. Find all the flaws in the relationship and think why they were there and why you attracted someone who brought them out... as a blessing so you can learn and grow. Break ups are only a way to learn to love ourselves better and eventually when you have gone through all the lessons, you will surely find someone who will be so much more than you hoped for. Even being single during those growing times can be too good..

    • absolutely meditation is the key to all of life's questions and inner peace. great advice!

  • remove all instances that remind you of him from your life.

    memories are triggered... notice how you feel fresh and clear in the morning? (free of memories)

    but as goes on, memories... trigger thoughts which weigh you down.

  • find a new partner?


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