Guys, Can you ever stay friends after a break up?

It seems I've hurt someone. And he said he never wants to talk about it or be friends with me again. Now that was said in the heat of an argument. Are you generally open to talk and make amends after the initial rage has calmed down?
Just wondering which way I'm going here thanks


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11

Most Helpful Guy

  • I have a few ex's that Kim still friends with if that helps any.

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What Guys Said 10

  • it depends on the relationship and the break up.

    I'm friends with 2 of my 5 exes but 3 i am not. if the break up is good. didn't occur due to betrayal, lies, or something else contentious there is a chance the people could be friends. particularly if they were friends before the relationship or their relationship had a heavy amount of friendship in it.

    but from my experience most people i know are not friends with their exes. at least not close friends maybe they are acquaintances at best in most cases

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    • I suggested that but he said no, never wants to talk to me ever again...

  • 1. I can always stay friends after a break up
    2. I'm always open to talk but problem is that at least one of us has a fixated idea or ideas that makes the whole conversation dogmatic and results in a worse situation than that existed earlier ;)

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    • I don't know how much worse it could get lol but I know what you mean, thanks x

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    • Oh I meant that in a positive way ;) he also walked up to me to ask something work related. He caught himself half way, I think when he remembered that we're not speaking ;)

  • Oh for fucks sake... Seriously?
    Just let the poor guy be... If you want to feel better about yourself quit hurting people... But you can't change the facts of what happened whatever it was.

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    • Lol do you know him or why do you get so upset? I didn't intend to hurt him, I genuinely didn't know that it would set him off like that.
      Whatever happened needed to happen, that's true. I would just like to get past it

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    • I know, and I've seen mine. Quite quickly actually. Which is why I deleted him so I won't have to see him online again and he can take his time and answer me when he is ready. Unfortunately he perceived it to be an insult to him and that's when it all started to unroll...
      Any chance of reverting this drama? I take it you're an expert lol

    • Hehee... Why yes, I am an expert, how'd you guess? 😜
      No, it's too late to rewind or change the course of the momentum, but it doesn't have to be added upon...
      All the pieces will eventually settle, he will get over himself as will you.
      Good luck!

  • This depends on how deep your relationship is and how bad the break up is. Some people can manage to be friends, some not... It's very variable. Give me more details? What are your thoughts? What do you want to do?

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    • I don't know is the answer.
      I don't like how we are ignoring each other at the moment. We sat next to each other at work, not speaking. I was very charming with all customers and he wasn't happy that I was chilled out, I could tell that much...
      What else could I tell you?

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    • Hey but then I've got another question for you. Mind if I send you a message? X

    • Sure, go for it :)

  • If it ends on good terms. An ex tried to impregnate herself using a discarded condom. I don't talk to her. Another girl, we tried, it didn't work, we broke up. We still talk.

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  • The answers here that you will possibly receive are going to be just as confused as you are. I agree - Heat of the moment things. Staying friends really depends on how the relationship ended and how serious the matter was. I have had an ex who turned out to be using me as a taxi and as a bank, and as a way of getting accommodation. I couldn't be friends with her, yet if I ever had a serious relationship, I would love to stay friends, depending on how the relationship ended.

    Don't go changing who you are to be someone, otherwise it wouldn't be true love. Just be yourself, and allow the time for things to cool, and maybe things can be talked over in a civilized manner.

    Don't be to disheartened if things don't go your way, listen to your heart, and your heart will tell you what you truly want.

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    • That's a lovely way of putting it!!
      My gut feeling is that he's regretting it as much as I do... I think we could be good as colleagues/low key friends. But we have a lot of chemistry so that is in the way of a relaxed relationship.
      Thanks for your input. I'm trying to listen to my heart, it says yes, all will be good. Head says he is a baby and an immature person who will never come round. I'll just have to wait and see x

  • Well certainly remaining friends can be quite challenging after a break up but, I like to think that after the initial going of own ways and so on that maybe if the break up wasn't too harsh friendship might be back on the cards! Unless it's a UK male like me who are just plain stubborn Babyapple lol ;-)

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  • No, I highly doubt it because he will always have feelings for you.

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    • But wouldn't you want to stay close to someone you have feelings for?

    • Yes, but it isn't the same as being friends because I have to accept the fact that you will go on and have sex with other men, love other men, and kiss other men. The feelings you are talking about aren't equal to friendship. @asker

    • That's true, they are much deeper. Which isn't ideal. Maybe better if we don't stay friends. But I miss him...

  • It depends. Leave him alone.

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  • My cheating ex wanted to be friends with me. I refused & havnt spoken to her for over 2 months

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