Confused ex girlfriend... Can you help me, ladies?

So my girlfriend left me 2 months ago. I begged, cried (I know, I know, she was my first love, didn't know what to do). She said that if I leave her for a month she will decide for good. I didn't give her space and time at all. Backfired. But... we remained as friends. Sometimes she missed me a lot. Cried a lot (she tells all this). Sometimes even said that she forgots why she's angry with me. But she didn't wanted to get back together... So we remained friends again. But I went NC, and she missed me again. Asked if Im okay or not. She again decided to think about getting back together. But 4 days ago she said that its not gonna happen. She says that its beyond what we did to each other. She's not sure if she loves me anymore (she still cares about me as friend, still getting jealous, and angry with me sometimes she wants to hug, the other day she wants nothing about me, at least she says that way). So what to do? I went NC for 4 days now and still nothing. If she's not in love me with me, why she still cares about me or getting jealous at all? Thanks for all the help and sorry for my awful English.


Most Helpful Girl

  • When you break up with someone you don't automatically lose feelings for that person.
    I believe your ex girlfriend when she says she cares for you.
    However, the way she cares for you is different than the way you care for her.
    She's confused at her reality.
    She's also unwilling to accept how she really feels and is having a tough time letting go.
    As long as you keep her in, is as long as she will stay.
    If you continue to keep her by your side you will continue to go through this rollercoaster ride with her.
    You have to let go and accept that she does not care about you in the same way.
    You both will only make things more complicated by trying to act as if nothing as changed (when in fact a lot has).
    "Do I love him?"
    "Do I not?"
    "Do I love him?"
    "Do I not?"
    Your will get swung back and forth like a ping pong ball if you do not part ways now.
    Sometimes doing so is for the best (even though it may not seem like it).
    Keeping daily contact with her will allow you to get hurt even more.
    The healing process will begin when you let go of her.

    • Im in NC right now... So I think she started to getting over me because she's happy when I see her. She's not texting me too. Hard to accept but I think she got over me. I hope I can too.

    • You hope? Yes, you can.
      Just continue to not keep contact with her.
      Trust me, eventually those feelings will pass.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I know you said "ladies"... But dude, you need to let her go unless you wish to stay on the crazy train.
    You deserve a woman who wants you and knows she wants you... Let this one go so the right one can manifest in your life!

    • Thanks a lot, man. I just can't let go of her. I know that I'll fall in love again, but those couldnt be good as this one, Im sure of it.

    • I understand... You have to exaust your current option before coming to a new consensus, I get it.
      When you get to that point, dont guess, "know"... the next will be better for you and will want you as much as you want her... She will come.
      ~Best wishes man!

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's an unhealthy relationship. Realize that you aren't good for each other, and you're better off trying to move on, despite the familiarity and companionship. Don't drag it out, a good relationship doesn't not have that pattern okay.

    • Yeah, it seems that way. But it wasn't actually. All of our problems caused by our love, its strange, yeah. But I dont know why didn't she tried to work it out. I can try to work it out, and work real hard. But she's done with me it seems. I just dont understand the unstable condition of her. If she's done, why she's confused about getting back?

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    • Thanks a lot for your precious comment and help ! =)

    • I'm glad it provided some perspective :) Maybe you'll find something helpful on my blog @ :)

  • Well every time she feels down she gets rejected by other dudes she remembers you. If you want her to respect you as a man, you need to act like a man. Don't let her play with you like that.

    • No. She's not contacting any other guy, in fact she's all alone other than school. And yeah, Im not allowing her to do anymore. Its just weird that she saying "Im already regretting this decision" "I will come to you 2 days later missing you, its just not normal" these kind of things.

What Guys Said 1

  • I had the same exact scenario once - and I walked away. What most people are saying seems true (walk-away) This is the exact same thing I thought, she didn't want me in the same way and I needed to leave. Instead of just moving on she went into stalker mode. There is such a thing as she doesn't know - she doesn't know again.

    Is she stable?


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