We are married. He's an asshole 98% of the time and makes me feel like shit. I finally had enough and left. Now he's telling me he will kill himself if I dont go back. He won't do divorce is all he keeps saying.
Most Helpful Guy
Being an asshole basically answers your own question. It's the control of you that he wants. I have known such a lovely female friend of mine got into a relationship with this bloke who told me and another that he didn't love her, but when we told her, she wouldn't listen. Later into the relationship, he got her dependent on heroin and when he didn't get his own way, he stopped her from having her shot, until he got his own way. I haven't seen either of them for must be over 5 years now. No idea whether she's still alive or not.
Back to your situation, it sounds like he doesn't want divorce as he has control over you like with heroin. My friend's boyfriend also nearly killed himself to prove to her that he loves her (which he never did, as he told us, he was using her for a place to live). He makes you feel like shit so that you have low self-esteem/confidence in yourself to then get involved with anyone else.
I also worked at One Stop and I quite liked a girl in the Post Office within the shop. Even she had said to me if she was 10 years younger or I was 10 years older, then I was in for a chance. She had a couple of adorable kids, and she had such a low self-esteem/confidence in herself, and I found out that it was due to being bullied, and by accident, found out that it was her husband that was bullying her. She had a thing for men in uniform, he was in the army stationed at the barracks opposite the shop, which is now closed down. So this is becoming a regular find for me, husband bullying wives.
Don't go bullying yourself over this, as he will win the battle. I would suggest reverse psychology, but it may turn out to be a bit dangerous. Seek professional help as this is a form of bullying which is psychological, and these days, it is a criminal offence. Try your local Citizens Advice Bureau, to get advice as to what to do. No woman should ever endure this kind of behavior.
Hope you get through this as safely and painlessly as possible.0
Most Helpful Girl
... He's an a**hole 98% of the time and makes me feel like sh*t...
There is not Only going to always be a full circle problem pattern with this loser in life who is causing you strife here, dear, but Now he has come up with a New strategy to add to his Long list Of... He won't divorce me.
You have Definitely done the right thing by unloading him. Don't let him near you, don't Read his Tiring texts or hear his sweet Nothings in your own ear. He is trying to mistake all your kindness as always for Weakness, which he knows this time around, he can't get to Fold with him being this Bold.
Talk to your lawyer. Start the paperwork.. I think you will find there is a way around this jerk. This is just another way today to get to your heart and if you take him Back... He will only continue the same pattern and Only get worse as he gets Older and More Bolder.
Tell him to Go ahead and do as he must do.. Tell him you have your own lawyer taking care of your own Business... Is all you Need to say.
Good luck. xx0