What do I do if he's threatening to kill himself if I dont go back?

We are married. He's an asshole 98% of the time and makes me feel like shit. I finally had enough and left. Now he's telling me he will kill himself if I dont go back. He won't do divorce is all he keeps saying.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Being an asshole basically answers your own question. It's the control of you that he wants. I have known such a lovely female friend of mine got into a relationship with this bloke who told me and another that he didn't love her, but when we told her, she wouldn't listen. Later into the relationship, he got her dependent on heroin and when he didn't get his own way, he stopped her from having her shot, until he got his own way. I haven't seen either of them for must be over 5 years now. No idea whether she's still alive or not.

    Back to your situation, it sounds like he doesn't want divorce as he has control over you like with heroin. My friend's boyfriend also nearly killed himself to prove to her that he loves her (which he never did, as he told us, he was using her for a place to live). He makes you feel like shit so that you have low self-esteem/confidence in yourself to then get involved with anyone else.

    I also worked at One Stop and I quite liked a girl in the Post Office within the shop. Even she had said to me if she was 10 years younger or I was 10 years older, then I was in for a chance. She had a couple of adorable kids, and she had such a low self-esteem/confidence in herself, and I found out that it was due to being bullied, and by accident, found out that it was her husband that was bullying her. She had a thing for men in uniform, he was in the army stationed at the barracks opposite the shop, which is now closed down. So this is becoming a regular find for me, husband bullying wives.

    Don't go bullying yourself over this, as he will win the battle. I would suggest reverse psychology, but it may turn out to be a bit dangerous. Seek professional help as this is a form of bullying which is psychological, and these days, it is a criminal offence. Try your local Citizens Advice Bureau, to get advice as to what to do. No woman should ever endure this kind of behavior.

    Hope you get through this as safely and painlessly as possible.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • ... He's an a**hole 98% of the time and makes me feel like sh*t...
    There is not Only going to always be a full circle problem pattern with this loser in life who is causing you strife here, dear, but Now he has come up with a New strategy to add to his Long list Of... He won't divorce me.
    You have Definitely done the right thing by unloading him. Don't let him near you, don't Read his Tiring texts or hear his sweet Nothings in your own ear. He is trying to mistake all your kindness as always for Weakness, which he knows this time around, he can't get to Fold with him being this Bold.
    Talk to your lawyer. Start the paperwork.. I think you will find there is a way around this jerk. This is just another way today to get to your heart and if you take him Back... He will only continue the same pattern and Only get worse as he gets Older and More Bolder.
    Tell him to Go ahead and do as he must do.. Tell him you have your own lawyer taking care of your own Business... Is all you Need to say.
    Good luck. xx

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • Don't go back its not your problem or your fault if he does it. He really is an asshole so stick to it and leave him, you deserve better than he sounds and you can get a divorce on the back if his behavior just log everything he does that is unreasonable. Good luck

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  • No one should ever stay with a man who behaves like that. So i am happy that you have left and will hopefully move on from him.

    He is threatening you that he will kill himself. You should divorce him. Please don't sacrifice your happiness just because he says he is going to kill himself.

    I will pray and hope that everything works out smoothly. If you feel intimidated by him... seek some help from the police/authorities.

    I hate when men behave like this. Don't worry dear, you'll be ok

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  • Tell the cops that he's a suicide risk, and stay well away. Once he learns that he can manipulate you with these threats, your life is over.

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  • Don't let him blackmail you. If you want to leave, leave. If he isn't bluffing and goes through with it, that's entirely on him.

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  • Alert emergency services, your police departments non emergency number they will talk care of the issue. If he is threating right now and you think he will call emergency number.

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    • When people are desperate they can be combative and dangerous don't try and fix it yourself.

  • Let the cops know so that he can get the help he needs. Certainly don't go back. I would say let him know that change is imperative to your return, but given that he's suicidal, stay away. That's nothing to play with.

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  • there's a 98% chance he's lying.

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  • Like everybody else said, have him admitted to a mental health facility

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  • Call his bluff. He won't do shit.

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  • His problem, not yours. And no he won't commit suicide - no girls are worth doing that for.

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  • He's your husband you should go back

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  • call a psychiatrist on his behalf and then never contact him again

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  • Marriage counseling? Maybe.

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What Girls Said 6

  • *Some people* do make idol threats just to get the other person to get back with them, BUT you never know if the other person is serious or not, so don't take a chance. If they have made a declaration that they want to kill themselves, call 9-1-1 immediately and let the professionals deal with him rather then you get involved in a way that might not be so good for the situation if it is a real threat. Don't worry about thinking he might be faking and I don't want to waste anyone's time... do it, call 9-1-1, and have them do the assessing.

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  • People that really want to kill themselves actually do it.

    He's using this as a way to hold you hostage.

    Leave!
    Don't look back !
    If you're convinced that he really will do it , call for help.

    Do you really want to be on this leash when you're 80 years old because you're too afraid he will commit suicide.
    You have to walk away at some point.

    Walk away now while you're still mentally strong.

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  • report him to the cop ASAP

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  • Call 911! ccc

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  • Tell him to do it. I've seen this situation so many time, and people who threaten to kill themselves won't do it.
    If you feel unsafe, call the police. Then proceed with the divorce.

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  • Its not your fault and its not his decision on whether or not to get a divorce. Don't go back. He sounds toxic.

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