Ex is spying on me. What would you do?

I've caught on to things in the past few weeks where my EX has been checking my phone / computer / mail, to see what I've been doing. (I haven't ever cheated on her nor did I try to start something new while I was with her)

We are still in a FWB stage and she has admitted in the past to having severe feelings for me, which I know isn't a lie, but I told her that I'm not interested in dating her and she accepted that.

(I told her I wanted to meet new people because I got sick of being a human punching bag for her emotions). So after she checks the phone / computer / etc- and finds that I speak to other women, she notices that I'm not doing anything wrong and doesn't start any drama about it- which I can respect and appreciate.

Though my question, is what would you do in this situation?

  • Confront her on the snooping
    Vote A
  • Tell her to move on due to the breach of privacy
    Vote B
  • Acknowledge what she did and not be concerned?
    Vote C
  • Understand that she is sincere in her feelings
    Vote D
  • Disregard the issue entirely
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • none of the above.

    Option F) Break up entirely. How can you possibly remain in a FWB stage AFTER a breakup, CONSIDERING her severe feelings for you? It's a recipe for disaster. You may not want to be with her, but stop destroying her feelings. If you want to see other people and move on, then do just that. Cut off any relations beyond regular friendship with her and make it clear she holds no claim on you. What she's doing is wrong, and I do not agree with it, but at the same time I can understand -- she knows she cannot have you entirely but it makes her even more crazy and jealous and hurt even more. Best thing to do-- END the FWB. End the entire thing. Also, make sure she doesn't check your phone, computer, etc. I am unsure what you mean- if she knows your passwords, change them. If she is physically checking them, don't leave your phone lying around, tell her you know she's been doing it and do not like it, and put a password on your computer so she can't get in. I am assuming these things especially happen when she's over at your place for FWB. How about not having her there? How about cutting off contact for at least a 2-4 weeks, completely. She needs time to heal and move on, clearly she's much more devastated by this breakup than you are, and you're not making it easy on her.

    Oh wait, perhaps that's sort of Option B, except not exactly.

    I am not picking sides here, I can understand the reason for your break-up very well, and you were right in ending it. But you haven't ended it completely. This sounds like a break and not a break-up. You need to truly end it. It's for the best, for both of you, and especially for her.

    • I appreciate the feedback but here's the catch. I'm big hearted, if I wasn't anon you would know that. Back to the point, her mother is an alcoholic and she has no one to turn to. I understand what the general concept of "FWB" means; however, does your answer remain the same with the following information applied as well?

      1 I'm not seeking other women currently

      2 I still give her an emotional backing

      3 I have feelings for her as well, but I hate being treated like a f***ing tin can

    • Show All
    • Thanks for best answer. it was a surprise.

      either way, hope I helped in some way and ultimately, wish you all the best!

    • Haha definately ^_^ Well you were right, last night we broke it off completely.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would get out of the relationship period! I have an ex that did that and it only gets worse. Plus, if she says she has stronger feelings for you then you have for her...You're toying with her being FWB. I know leaving the familiar behind came be hard but by sleeping with her you are giving her hope that you will change your mind and sweep her off her feet. Yep, girls can think like that...Do yourself and her a favor and move on. Best of luck. Cheers!


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