Is it weird that I don't feel guilty about having feelings for my ex?

We broke it off about two weeks ago, and he and I agreed to being friends. I tried to get him off my mind as an attempt to move on and let him live his life. Although, I found myself falling in love with him even more. I haven't gotten rid of the photos I have of him, and he and I text each other on a somewhat daily basis. He's aware of how I feel about him still, and it makes him feel uncomfortable when I try to make a move on him. However, he and I both trust each other as much as we did before we broke up, and I tell him things that I would never mention to any of my other friends. Despite all of this, I feel that people might find it weird that he and I are like that with each other after we ended the relationship. I certainly don't, and he doesn't feel that way about it either. Our situation makes me wonder where things will go between him and I, but that isn't really my concern at the moment.

  • It's strange to be like that with your ex
    Vote A
  • It's perfectly normal to be like that
    Vote B
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Updates:
I should have mentioned this earlier. He and I only agreed to breaking up since I agreed to go with whatever he said he wanted to do. I knew that I would never agree to a breakup, but it left me no choice. Also, I've only made a move on him once. I really should have specified that before. There may have been a chance that he also made a move on me since he and I did hold each other's hand after I apologized for being rather rude to him the day before. It was rather sudden so I'm not sure.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Its normal, especially if you ended amicably. You miss the intamacy, the feeling of being loved, the security, feeling complete. How did ypu two break it off?

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    • When we were still dating, we would tell rather edgy relationship jokes. He once joked about cheating on me with his friend's sister, and before we broke up, I had joked about him cheating on me and that if he was, he should just say so. It caused him to feel as if I didn't trust him when in reality, it was the complete opposite of what he was thinking.

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    • If I say that, I'd feel as though I'm belittling him, and well, I don't really know how he'd feel if I were to mention it again after I've tried to make things right.

    • You are trying to make things right, if he won't hear it, then there is nothing else to do about it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • its only two weeks. just bc you're broken up doesn't mean feelings vanish. they go when they go. days months years./ anyohpjw he probably got over you long ago and wanted too long to end it. there's no way his feelings would have just disappeared in a week or two if he ever felt anything.. maybe his time fgettibng over you happened while you were together.

    also not wantring to dwell doesn't mean you dont feel anything just means you're ignoring your feelings.

    now while your feelings are not strange, if you guys really agreed to break up why are you making moves on him? thats dsisrkesperctful. you're making him uncomfortable bc you're breaking the terms of a break up, which is to be broken up?

    are you thinking you'll get back together, bc if so why did you break up?

    can you explain some detail about the break up?

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    • When we were still dating, we would tell rather edgy relationship jokes. He once joked about cheating on me with his friend's sister, and before we broke up, I had joked about him cheating on me and that if he was, he should just say so. It caused him to feel as if I didn't trust him when in reality, it was the complete opposite of what he was thinking.

    • I also meant to mention that we both agreed to it since it was what he wanted. I didn't agree to it, but I gave my word that I'd go with whatever he decided. It left me no choice, and I honestly can't help how I feel about him because of my trust in him and my feelings for him as a lover and a friend. I've made a move on him once, which I should have specified before. After that, I decided to come to terms with my feelings for him as a friend, despite that it tends to conflict with my feelings for him as a lover.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • i don't see why you should feel guilty... not all relationships end with bitterness and hatred, and even when they do it is relatively normal to have some lingering feelings towards an ex

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's only strange because he's aware of how you feel and gets uncomfortable. Why put yourself through the torture of never being able to get him and still love him while he can chat with you and move on? You're not making it any easier on you, you're hoping that one day he will change his mind but soon you will realize nothing will change. It's best to take a break

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    • It's not torture to accept something that you know is true. It's only torture if you deny that it ever happened. The friendship he and I have had these past few years is not an easy one to handle in the first place, but we still manage it despite that. Relationships and friendships aren't easy, and he and I both know that. We know how the other one is by now, and I'm not necessarily waiting for him to come back. I might still have feelings for him romantically, but that doesn't mean that I'm holding myself back for him. I can still move on with someone else, but he and I have the capability to get back together if there's a mutual agreement to take it further. Complicated and complex, yes, but he and I aren't necessarily the types to give up so easily.

    • Granted, the relationship ended unexpectedly due to a matter that he and I could've easily discussed. Although, it was my fault for causing him to feel so distraught. If I hated him for feeling that way, I wouldn't be friends with him at the moment. For the record, I've left out quite a bit of information due to the fact that so much has happened between us these past two weeks. I wanted to clarify that so you don't believe that I'm making things up to justify myself. For what I've done to him, I have no place for justifying myself. Anyway, I would actually want for him to be aware of how I feel since he and I never hid anything from each other, whether we were dating or not. It's not impulse, but rather knowing that he and I will still have the security that we've had in place even before we started dating.

  • I don't think you should or shouldn't feel guilty about your feelings. Not really sure that's the word for it, but I would caution you that the relationship did end and you continuing to hold on will cause you problems. Move on with your life, stop sharing intimate thoughts with him, stop making moves on him and focus your attentions elesewhere. i guarantee you'll thank me in the long run.

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  • It's not strange it's just that you guys are not letting go of what was once there. Ur afraid or both of u r afraid if u guys drift apart & stop talking u will loose each another forever.
    Maybe he will come around. Maybe not. But some sometimes guys like to play mind games or test your love

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