Will I ever get over him? heart broken, advise please?

my boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me four months ago. he was my first love,first kiss,and I gave my virginity to him. I thought he was the sweetest guy ever . two weeks before he ended it I threatened to break up with him because he lied to me and ditched me Saturday night saying he had the flu but really he went out with a group of girls . he begged me not to break up with him so gave him another chance then two weeks later he breaks up with me. doesn't even tell me why . he ended t over text message so I never really got closure. haven't talked to him since. I'm still in love with hm . can't stop thinking of all the memories we had. how do I get over him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know exactly how you feel. I like this girl, possibly love her. She is dating someone else. "When you like someone who likes someone else." It is an all too common problem among teens. We will get through it though. She turned me down a few months ago also, and I still like her. Only, she still shows me signs that she does like me. You have to realize that you made a mistake by going all the way with him. Once a guy gets that out of you, interest is completely lost. There are a few guys including me, that rather love than lust any day. You do not need sex at such a young age. This is getting on to another topic though. He is not the sweetest guy ever if he lied to you so he can go out with umpteen girls. I can see that you forgave him, but you were typically just "booty-call." If you are with a guy that wants sex, as soon as he gets it, the dates are over. Typical boy behavior. He is also a coward since he could not even break up with you in person. If I were you, I would just move on. You deserve much better than someone like him.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Young love is like this. You must feel very sad as he is the only guy in the whole wide world that you really want. But is this really true? Of course it is not. There are many, many guys out there just made for you so take note of what has happened and move on.

    I am the first to agree that this is difficult to do right now but I promise you, you will get over him if you start anew and mix with other people. My advice would be not to go back to him even if he asks you. Just cut loose and begin a new chapter of your life. You sound a very loving and faithful girl and you deserve a much nicer guy. He will surely come along one day.

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  • If he lied to you and went out with a group of girls, you should have just broken up with him. It was not at all a good sign that he did this. I am sure if you think back, there must have been some other signs that the relationship was having problems and you probably ignored it.

    Also, looks like you both were seeing the relationship differently. He was looking at is as fun, sex and comapnionship. You were thinking it was more serious. Use this as an opportunity to learn about boys and how they think so that you will have a better furture.

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  • wow I really don't know, Me and my ex just broke up a month ago after 3 years. And yeah we gave everything to each other and we were meant to be I was ready to spend the rest of my life with her and sttle down. And for a while she felt the same way but then out of no where one day she said she just wanted to live the single life and she dumped me. She said she still loved me after but I don't know how she could do this to me. I was so good to her and treated her like a fricken princess. I'm still hurting so much I can't even go 5 min with out thinking about her and getting short of breath and upset so I don't know what to do. I'm really sorry your going thru this. Its the worst ever nothing compares to a broken heart. advice...dont be alone at all go out and be with your friends every minute you can don't do anything that's gonna p*ss him off cause he will do it back and you wil be hurt more. cause you care more. Talk to people about it close friends that will listen. Delete him on Facebook or what ever you have. You don't wanna see posts he puts on there that are gonna hurt your feelings I know its hard but not knowing is better than snooping. And believe me I'm talking from experience. But good luck with everything hope I helped.

    Chase

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  • wow you guys take dating so f***in sieroiuse I mean comeone people at my school do that too. YOUR NOT IN FUCKING LOVE! I'm tired of people in middle school or hihgschool saying sh*t like "ohh I loved this guy and we had sex then he just dumped me" or "this guy said he liked me and we had sex and I can't get over him." Yeah guess what the guy said what he had to to get into your pants. guys don't mean what they say, we don't give a sh*t about love and being with girls forever we just say sh*t like that...going on anti dipresents is stupid , I mean ur f***ing up your body takeig that medication just because some broad dumped you (this is for mrdizzle). I had a sieroiuse relaionship and you know what the girl f***ing played me saying all this being wiht me forever sh*t and well it didn't work out because she left me for my best freind so I really just stopped believeing in sieeroriuse relationships as a teenager

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    • Ummm wow your dumb you have no idea what your talking about whatsoever. I'm out of highschool now my ex is still in highschool and we were tegether three years. We were in love and you can say what you want but you have never gone thru what I am right now. Lost 15 pounds can't eat or sleep and had to leave work twice cause I puked over it you have no clue so STFU

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    • Awe so your heartbroken too... feeling betrayed.... If you are feeling the feeling that others feel... try not to put them down for trying to see different perspectives and learning to grow and mature... Being a bit sinister and bitter will stunt the maturing process.... Live and learn. Open you heart.

    • ...? wow... so I bet you think your really cool...

      some people, actually have feelings. who are you to say if someone is in love or not.

      if your in love with someone, then you are in love.

      AGE IS JUST A NUMBER.

  • i know exactly how you feel... I was in the same situation but I was with my ex girlfriend for 2 years when she abruptly ended it, she was also my first love, kiss etc. (except for sex).

    the best advice is don't let yourself become depressed. becoming depressed is the worst thing to do, that's what I did and now I take antidepressants (ive been over her for a long time I just have that depressed feeling). the best way to get over it is time. it takes a long time but time heals everything. go out with your friends, have fun, occupy your time, do anything to distract yourself from thinking about him. you'll survive, even though right now it doesn't feel like you will, you will.

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  • You might have made a wrong choice nd by indulging in sex you just lost the curiosity factor too if the guy is behaving like this get over with him if he has any feelings for you he will miss you too otherwise go ahead with ur life.

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What Girls Said 11

  • you give yourself closure.

    unfortunately he was very cold when he broke up with you over text messages.

    it seems like a short time to change over two weeks.

    he has jeapordized any chance of being forgiven or being trusted.

    it takes time to let go.

    later you will realize that it was for the better to move on.

    you're still young so there are plenty of guys out there that are better.

    you get over a guy by not thinking about him and being super busy with your life.

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  • hun, you really don't need him. what a prick! what you need to do is go out with your friends one night and meet other guys, flirt a little and then sooner or later youl forget all about him, you do not need him. and if he sees you with other guys he will get jelous. but don't take him back, by the sounds of it , he left you for antoher girl and prob cheated, and I know that sounds really bitchy cause I don't know you but, just from experience. have fun. just enjoy life don't cry over a wanker like him. us girls get our hearts broken by guys ALL the time. we have to learn to play them not to get played. so move on, get with other lads, and hell come back but don't let him and it will make you feel so happy and good about yourself, and he will be in your position. if you want him back and he comes to you, make him suffer. and don't take him back for ages, flirt with him make him want you so bad but don't give in. be strong :) X

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  • Yeah... good thing you're young... I mean you have lots of time to find the right guy...I'm 30 and I've found wonderful people... just the wrong time...

    Coming from my own experiences, if you feel the urge to take a break, do it, change the behavior, get to know you and what you want in a man, then see if it works... Most importantly, try not to stress about this. You are still able to love him, but you don't have to be next to him to do that. Some of them, you've just got to set them free, live and learn... that's all life is... a learning experience, for everyone. You just got to open your heart and let change happen.

    Hope that helps ya a bit. :)

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    • Darn, I though you were like 20, & I was thinking , that is so cool that someone could be just chill, just live & let live & not cause they jut do not want to deal with anyone.. nOt that there is anything wrong with 30, just that it gives hope that people can just BE that way BEFORE the pain^

      But I REALLY like your sentiment & I TOTALLY agree about life, people being an experience, & letting your heat stay open.

      people go to this extreme, like you have to be a jerk or a doormat.

      Plain old -

    • Dignity is always nice.. Being aware of how you feel does not mean you are CONTROLLED by your feelings. I think when people call someone emotional, they are not clear if they are talking about emotional intelligence or slavery^

      As for the girl with the underdeveloped boyfriend, that is probably al it is..Go o & keep the feeling. You guys HAD a binch of experience, so keep it in your heart while you meet other peole or don't. Keep up with YOUR life & the ones you care about & let nature help

    • Yeah... I'm old...hahah but my point is, certain lessons come at different times for everybody, so with this under my belt than most of you, I want to spread the knowledge and help who I can.... live an learn now before your heart gets broken...YOUR HEART CAN'T BREAK IF YOU LOVE YOU FIRST!

  • Well with time you will get over him and find someone that will make you feel the same all in love maybe even better!We will never forget, but we learn, its apart of heart brake!All brake ups suck so bad but everyone eventually finds that special someone even if they have to go threw a bit more heart brakes!

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  • I agree with mrdrizzle and I have also had the same thing happen to me (except for the sex part). The best thing you can do is mourn for a bit, go out with friends, try to experience as many different things as possible and try to act like who you were before you even met your ex. YOU WILL get over him over time, I garuntee it, "time heals all wounds" . Even though that may not be what you want to hear, it's the only thing that really works. I hope all goes well for you.

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  • Oh My God! You have no idea how much this relates to me. I was with a guy for 2 years though and I didn't give him my virginity. But the whole first love, breaking up by text and no reason why, lying and stuff. Exactly the same as what happened to me. Your question would be..? Will you ever get over him. Yes. You need to find yourself a better more mature man, and get treated the way you deserve. I got over my ex by thinking about all the bad times him and I had like fights and jealous times. All those are what got me over him. So maybe that could help. To get over your ex you'll need to go out there and meet more guys and maybe experience a better relationship then you had with your ex. Plus a bonus, if your ex see's you with another guy holding hands or hugging/kissing I'm 99% sure he will get jealous and maybe want you back. But you say no unless your sure you want him back. Hope this has helped =)

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  • Avoid all contact with him, keep busy, go out with friends create some new memories surround yourself with positive things, I was in a relationship for 4 years and thought I'd never get through the heartace but you will, don't call or text or communicate with him because that can send you into an emotional relapse. Another thing concentrate on yourself more, do something different get a new hair do re-decorate your room embrace this pain as a tool for experience and wisdom you will value in later life. Trust me I thought it would'nt stop hurting when I broke up with my ex, it's cliché but its true time is the greatest healer.

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  • Same thing happened to me exept the virginity, and ditching part. I just learned to get over it I realized that I didn't need someone who didn't have enough balls to come and say that he wanted to break up with me to my face. The best thing is just to try and be friends or just get over him slowly and start looking for another good looking guy...that also helps too. :)

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  • "I thought he was the sweetest guy ever." That exactly what they WANT you to think. That's how they get you. Just goes to show you that you were not ready for sex at your young age. You were quite innocent, gullible, and naive. As for the heart ache, don't worry, you'll get used to it. In your lifetime you'll break up with at leat 10 guys probably more. Just concentrate of important things, instead of this dirt bag.

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  • Tell him that you don't want to stay with him.

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  • im really sorry about your situation, I'm actually going through the same thing right now. my boyfriend just broke up with me a week ago and I just can't stop crying or thinking about him. I gave everything to him and really loved him. he was my first love and first everything. but I talked to him a couple days ago and it just made everything worse so I think you shouldnt try to talk to him untill your okay. I'm not really sure what else to say except getting rid of things that remind you of him kinda helps too. I know it might not be that much help, but I thought lettting you know someone else knows exactly how you feel might help. I know the memories hurt and the feeling of not knowing why exactly he ended things when even a few days before or in your case a couple weeks he said he would never leave you and begged for you to stay. stay strong and find things that make you happy, or happier than you would be without them. good luck.

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    • I totally agree. I think many girls go through this cause I am too. it is gonna be hard, maybe the most difficult thing you will have to do, but I do agree on throwing everything away that he gave you or reminds you of him. also try to stay busy. hang out with friends, study, shop, just something to keep busy. I'm so sorry that this happened.

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