Am I allowed to cheat? Will I regret it?

A few months ago, my boyfriend made a comment about understanding if I cheated, as we have been in a long distance relationship for a long time. He just said he didn't want to know about it.

I originally took it as a joke, but now my ex has gotten in touch with me and told me he wants to sleep with me. I am seriously tempted, as the sex was the only thing that worked in that relationship and I haven't seen my boyfriend in awhile. I'm just worried that I will feel guilty after but then I think I won't because he already kind of told me he doesn't mind.

It's not like I want a relationship with my ex, or even an affair, I just want a short fling to fulfill my needs. I just don't want to be wracked with guilt afterwards and not be able to get over the cheating aspect and feel like a terrible girlfriend. What do you think? Should I do it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • okay first of all he did say that its okay, but you know that people say things that don't mean.

    we all say things that means something else actually.

    infact he said that because he is testing you, I believe, even though he told you that he doesn't wanna know about it. but if you think about it for a moment, after all he will find out and it will hurt him.

    the fact that he told you that he is okay with it is because he wants you to know that he knows that its hard but You re suppose to resist it and not do such a thing.

    Honestly I wouldn't do it, even if he had told me that he is 100% sokay with it, as a matter of a fact if he is okay with it, then why are we together anyway? we could just meet whenever and not stress about it? it also means he doesn't care that much about me and isn't looking forward to actually really BE WITH ME. so id be concerned if he actually said that to me, whether he meant what he said or not.

    I know I know its hard am in a long distance relationship too but what's the point if you can't actually resist those things... I mean its not the only thing that you might face in a relationship when you feel like you re missing out on something... perhaps someday you might not buy the amazing boots you want because you gotta pay for the kids school.. you know! life isn't easy...

    i would talk to him about this and let him know how I feel... either we see each other asap or make it an open relationship so no one gets hurt!

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What Guys Said 1

  • even though he told you it's ok...I'd say if you go through with it it'll come back to bite you in the ass at some point and you will definitely be guilt-ridden

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What Girls Said 1

  • Karma is the key here IMO. If you do it then it will come back to haunt you in some way. In addition, I think when you really love someone then thoughts like this shouldn't cross your mind. He should be enough for you and vice versa. In addition, how would you feel if the roles were reversed?

    I was in a long distance relationship for 4 years. It was exceptionally difficult but we made it work. What made it even worse was that he was in the military. I was in college, partying and having a great time and temptation surrounded me. But, no one EVER compared to him, how I felt for him or what we shared. I always reminded myself of that if I felt lonely, needed affection or was missing him.

    The final point I'd like to mention was brought up by my girl RDabby. Her point is excellent. His nonchalant attitude about turning a blind eye to you possibly cheating is perturbing. This SHOULD matter to him. If he loves you and values the relationship then the thought of you with another man should sicken him. It might be a test or a signal of faltering feelings? Whatever the case might be, it sends out a huge red flag and I would discuss this with him.

    Best of luck.

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    • You're right. I was having a moment of weakness, and karma here is the key. I don't think he really meant what he said, and the thought of me with someone else does sicken him, which is why he said "i don't wanna know." I think he said it because he felt bad because he always seems to be leaving me. Plus he doesn't think I would ever cheat. So he didn't put much thought into what that comment meant. I just needed someone to tell me I'm wrong. So thanks!

    • You're welcome and I'm glad you arrived at this realization.

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