I love my ex-boyfriend's best friend?

I was introduced to both of them at the same time. I got interested in his best friend because of my best friend. I started going out with my ex-boyfriend around October 2008. Around this time his best friend started going out with his current girlfriend . Me and my ex broke up after New Years Eve, but his best friend is still with the same girl. Me and my ex are good friends, but there were occasions when we fool around, but not anymore. My ex wants more but I don't, so I'm trying to make it be just a friendly relationship.

Over the past year (2009), I got closer to my ex's best friend because we are both volunteers in the same organization. I started looking at him as to a role model because he's very intelligent and very good at whatever he's doing. And to top it all up he looks perfect and is a great guy.

I realized that unwillingly we both place some kind of limit between us and we barely talk about things outside the organization, not because we wouldn't be able to. I feel the chemistry that exists between us and for safety it's like we both extinguish it, not willing to ruin the friendship we both have with my ex. Just to give you an example, we only danced once, at my birthday and only for a minute or so, because my ex was looking at us like we were making the most unnatural thing possible. We barely even touch, just a pat on the back or messing his/my hair when saying goodbye. He can be friends with girls even if he has a girlfriend but not with me and I don't see why because I get along much better with guys than girls.

Now I got myself into something even crazier. Through a twist of faith, I got to respect and befriend his girlfriend, and I have to admit that she is a great girl. In our conversations she told me that their relationship isn't going as well as everyone thinks, and that they were thinking about breaking up. The thing is that he has plans about moving away and he doesn't believe in long distance relationships. Nor do I. She also doesn't like the fact that because of him she postponed some of her plans.

My friendship with his girlfriend started at the worst moment possible because now he may be thinking that I want to break them up, which I don't. He's happy so why would I do something like that?

I am now in the point where I think that he is mad at me, or blames me for the current situation. My ex told me once that he (the best friend) was shocked, not in a good way, that I am friends with his current/ex girlfriend.

I can't start asking him about the situation because of that boundary between us. I know that he is hurt and in moments like this is in my nature to want to make him feel better.

I never fallen so deeply in love with anyone and I just want him to be okay, whether he stays with her or no. I never told him about how I feel but he's always mysterious like that and always keeps me wondering about everything. I dream about him and I want him to be with me, but I don't think that to be possible. What to do?


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  • I think you can go ahead and approach his friend there is nothing wrong with that if it didn't work out with your ex.

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