I left my boyfriend because he's deppressed?

Before everyone attacks me for leaving him in need i need to say that he had mild-severe deppression and he had it before he met me. When we met i boosted him up and he opened up to me and it was very releasing to him. I wad glad to help. Its now been 5years and in a way he has fixated his happiness on me. I dont think thats healthy. At times when we would fight he would always bring this up and pretty much guilt trip me. He was always entitled to feel upset because of this condition but i wasn't. I always had to put aside my feelings for him. I just felt neglected. Also more in depth he doesn't love himself. How can our love grow when his is out of reach. How can he love me when he doesn't love himself? He refuses to see therapists and im exhausted of being the fixer. I felt like if i walked away he would go jump of a bridge. I became trapped and miserable. I finally worked up the strength to leave. Was i wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your not responsible for his happiness, he is responsible for his own happiness. You have done nothing wrong by breaking up with him, if you feel the relationship is not making you happy, and not making you grow as person, then you have to do what's right for yourself.

    When you stop taking care of yourself you get out of balance and you really forget how to take care of others."

    If you don't take care of yourself, you then become imbalanced and lose your way in life, and when person doesn't take of themselves they start blaming other people for their happiness.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, its good that you did. He can't depend on you and he needs to learn how to be okay with being alone. Only problem is that he might deal with it very badly.

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What Guys Said 4

  • You were right to break up with him for now but I feel like this may help him realize it's time to get help. If he gets help and starts trying to fix himself you should give him a second chance. Everyone deserves a second chance and if he's really working on it to be with you then that's admirable. My girlfriend dumped me because my alcoholism was causing problems in the relationship. Her dumping me was the final shock I needed to quit and I did. Now all I want is that second chance to show her I can be the man she's always deserved. Maybe this break up will shock him into taking steps toward improving his life.

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  • ""How can he love me when he doesn't love himself?""

    I don't think that's impossible, really. Just because you dislike yourself doesn't mean you can't like or admire others.

    But I guess there was not much else you could do, considering he was fine with the status quo and did not make any advancements towards fixing the problem despite you attempting to make him do something for it.

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    • I agree to an extent. We love each other but i do feel like his deppression didn't let our love grow. I don't know.. hard to explain.

  • I'd be depressed too.

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  • Nah you don't belong to any and nobody belongs to you
    Better now than if ur not marrying

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What Girls Said 1

  • As someone with depression (got it from my mom thanks a lot mom!) it's my biggest fear that I ever act this way and I try not to use my illness as an excuse for anything. Getting treatment was really hard and admitting that I had been diagnosed and I was going to have to work super hard to control it was really painful. I knew deep down I had depression for years before reaching out for help because I was in denial. It sounds like you tried way harder than my boyfriend does (he's very self focused) which is really commendable. Depression has always been something I felt unbearably guilty for having but my friend who has depression himself took me to the campus doctor to make an appointment and now I am starting treatment, antidepressants scare me but if they make me easier to deal with I'll do it. I don't want to be a selfish, crazy, mentally ill bitch. But I know if I had to leave my boyfriend I'd still find a way to be happy because I make friends easily and most people can't believe I have depression. So I don't expect any relationship to last though this is my first because no one wants a depressive for long that's just how it is until you are well into treatment. I think you tried but depression is a destructive thing, I do think he was wrong for using his illness as an excuse.

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