How do you break up with someone you've been with for 5 years but you don't really want to break up?

I've been with my boyfriend for 5
years he doesn't ever want to have sex the doctor doesn't think there is anything wrong but I don't know if he got bloodwork done or not.

He doesn't even seem to enjoy kissing me nothing I do turns him on he is just not interested in sex anymore

but I know very much so that he wants to marry me.

I do love him but we haven't had really good sex more than once a month for a year now and I've been talking to him trying to get him to open up for 3 months now.

I can't get married with things like this but even after I tell him what I want sexually he doesn't do it ex I love when you kiss my neck all I get is a fucking bird peck.

Im really scared about breaking up cause we've lived together for 5 years I don't know what to do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Have u tried spicing things a little
    Maybe buy some new lingerie or add some foreplay that he maybe into
    If u have then it seems he is suffering from some mental issue, most probably stress which has led to him loosing his sex drive, it can be solved easily if u just take him to a psych

    • He doesn't want to go the therapy or take pills or even talk to me about it

      Tried spicing things up several things nothing

    • Show All
    • And the pets? The lease rental? All the stuff? The car that is under my name but he put time and effort into being a mechanic and we still owe money on it..

      I think this is far from simple :(

    • You will have to compromise on a lot of things
      He probably will give u the pets and the car
      But lease will be a problem

Most Helpful Girl

  • I had to have this same talk my husband. I adore my husband, but I have my needs. I read a couple of books called a Sex Starved marriage and then a Sex Starved Wife. They are both by Michele Weiner Davis. The things she wrote in these books helped me describe to him how his "mood killer" was affecting me. I would tell him how it makes you feel as a woman and if he can't step up and figure out what the problem is you either need sex therapy or a break. God bless!


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What Guys Said 1

  • First off don't marry him anytime soon. Secondly this happens in a lot of relationships. I did this to my ex girlfriend. Basically I got bored of her, guys were wired differently then females.
    She was a nag basically she sucked the life out of me on a daily basis. Also if he not sexually active with you. He is likely getting it else were

    • He doesn't have the time to get it elsewhere.
      He brags about how great of a girl friend I am. And talks about a future together. And I work very hard on not nagging him unless it's something really important like getting his passport for our holiday.

What Girls Said 1

  • You aren't getting your needs met, so don't settle, even if he's a nice-enough guy. You're just keeping yourself from finding a fulfilling relationship.

    • I agree I'm just concerned about finding a guy with the same morals and values as him.. He's a hard type to come by I just wish he wanted more sex and didn't rush lol

    • Show All
    • It's still the right thing to do, and it's better to start the process now, rather than later.

    • I also didn't mention that we are going on a cruise in January lol sooo I've been waiting for that hoping it would get better

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