How do I explain that I want to be with a girl?

I have a friends with benefits relationship with my best friend who's a guy (no intercourse just playing) And we've both said at some point that if we're still doing this in a couple years (we've already been for 2 years) that we should think about having a family together and adopting a kid. We say we love each other and are affectionate so it's kinda more than friends with benefits but he always says that he doesn't want to label what we are, so we're nothing.
when I look at where I want to be in my life in the future I know I want to one day be married to a woman and have children with her. I've said this before and he says "Ik" but then will be all sad and whiney the next couple days and then say stuff like "I'm just always afraid that you'll leave me for a girl" and "you know I love you and if we wound up together it'd be nice" and "I can honestly see us having a family together and being together for a long time.
QUESTION: how do I end things without hurting him and without losing him as a friend? He's my favorite person in the world, but I know that i need someone committed to me enough to let me be proud they want to call me their boyfriend and I can one day propose to and I would prefer it to be a girl.
-guys are like a safety for me cuz I'm really queer so I always wind up in gay relationships even though I'd prefer to be with a woman. It's just difficult for me cuz with girls everything's more real and more vulnerable.


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  • Well if you continue unhappily you both will become resenful and unhappy. If he truly loves you he will understand. It will hurt him, but in the long run it will be for the best. Why end up doing something that you do not want which will make you unhappy and eventually him unhappy.

  • Watch Grace and Franky.

    If you are honestly gay fully, then even if sex with your wife is good, you will destroy the relationship eventually. If you are bisexual and you are sure (you feel strong chemistry for a woman and enjoy sex) then you have more options.

    I'm not advocating polygamy but I know several women who would get off on joining to gay guys. Why not invite a third to try it out?

    I also know a very nice couple, he is straight, she is bisexual. She is with him married but she also has a "wife" of her own. The husband knows about her. It is only the 3 of them no other partners. He does not sleep with the other woman. They are very happy with the situation.

  • Well its best if u stay in an open relationship so when u do find a girl, u dont have to break up with him. U can date them both. Then when its getting serious with a girl then u can break up with him and im sure he will understand.

    • That's actually really good advice. I didn't think of that.

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