I'm having a very difficult time with this break-up. Jan. 11, my girlfriend of 10 months out of the blue says she doesn't think she is in love with me anymore. Just days before, she was affectionate and telling me she loved me. 30 days b4 that, she sent me a text saying that she saw an elderly couple holding hands & just knew that that's what we would be like when we get that age together. I asked her if she met another guy, but she said no (that would have been closure for me at least).
She is on anti-depressants, and is on a lot of pressure right now. She has the bar exam coming up at the end of Feb.
Also, just before all this happened, she had a job lined up that didn't pan out (she's down to her last $1000 for rent) , her cat had peed on the nice new furniture that we got, her verbally abusive ex husband started harassing her again, and all her friends were teasing her that I was going to propose to her at Christmas, which I was, but didn't tell anyone. I was also supposed to move in with her to help pay for half of her rent feb. 1. I really don't know what happened or what caused her to say that. She always said how much she loved me and how lucky she was to have me in her life. We were both lucky to have each other! She is 36 & I'm 47 but I look and act more like 30. She always said that I have too much energy. So it's not the age thing. We got along great together, and rarely fought. I knew from the 1st moment I met her that she was the one for me. I have never been married, but she has bee divorced for over 2 years. She has been on the anti-depressants since her divorce. I have never seen any change in her mood till she failed her bar exam back in Nov. No matter what I tried to say to help her feel better, I couldn't help her. Now that she says it's over, I'm having an extremely difficult time. I feel like I not only have lost my girlfriend, but also my best friend, and future wife! My heart aches for her more and more every second of every day that we are apart. I'm just hoping that she will clear her mind after she writes the 3 day bar exam , and realizes she has made a terrible mistake breaking up our relationship. This was also a long distance relationship where I did the majority of the flying out of choice.We were so close to being together after 10 months of commuting. I just hope it was a combination of all the stress that she has been under. I'm hoping and praying that she will come back to me. I am not going to call her, but I am going to send her a nice card just before her 3 day exam at the end of Feb. saying good luck to her and I know she can pass this exam cause she has worked so hard for it. I am just so heartbroken right now. I am at the lowest point of my life, ever!
Thank you HappyGirl10 for all your kind words. I sent her an email today and said what you suggested.
I really love this woman, and miss her very much. Valentine's Day is going to be a very lonely day for me. I truly hope that she is thinking about getting back together with me.
She brought up getting married to me just b4 this!
Thanks for ur help everyone.
Most Helpful Girl
It sounds like she is completely overwhelmed right now. She is probably stressed over the bar exam & the though of you proposing while she is so stressed, it probably too much for her. If she is divorced, I am sure she is very scared to get married again. She probably wants to go into marriage when she is more stable & can think more clearly.
I think the best thing you can do is back off. I would send her a letter or email telling her you undestand where she is at. That you know that she is completely stressed & that you don't want to push her to do anything she is not comfortable with. Tell her what you told me -- you love her, she is your best friend, etc. Then tell her that you love & respect her so much that you are going to leave her alone but that you are there if she needs someone to talk to. That you would LIKE to still be able to be friends if that is okay with her. But...I think that you will need to be really careful to not contact her too much. I think she needs time right now. I understand its hard to let go -- boy do I understand as I've been through it! But, if you two are meant to be, it will happen. If you try to talk her into something, that's only going to make her run. If you play it more cool, it will let her know that you really do care & that you are there for her no matter what but that you aren't going to hound her. I can't say that this will bring her back to you, but trying to change her mind is definitely not going to work.
And, yeah, the card is a good idea. I hope it works out for you!1
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