I showed my girlfriend texts from my ex 3 years ago as she asked for it, and I had nothing to hide. Now she wants a breakup. Where did It go wrong?

My girlfriend asked for the text from my ex-gf (I ended the relation 3 years ago). So I showed her everything from my ex (including sex chats) to show my loyalty. And said I've nothing to hide. Now she is mad at me. But honestly, I told her everything about my ex before. And Its been 3 years, since I broke up with my ex and also I'm with my girlfriend for 2and Half years (ya I moved on quickly). But for this entire time I remained loyal and rebuild myself according to her dream


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It went wrong when she became this massively insecure. Probably before you even started dating. Girls like her shouldn't be in a relationship until they're able to trust people. You didn't technically do anything wrong. You didn't hide anything from her or lie to her. But showing her those conversations probably didn't exactly help with her insecurities.
    Oh well. What's done is done. If she hadn't broken up over this, it would have been for something else. Insecure people always find a way to ruin things. Not much you can do about it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ladies this is why we have to lie sometimes. Because a lot of you are just mental and do not have any logic.

    We literally protect you and the relationship from yourselves

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 13

  • TBH it sounds like she is super insecure and probably distrusting. It's probably a good thing things didn't work out.

    If you truly did remain loyal, then there was no point for her to need to see text messages from 3 years ago. Especially if you weren't even with her at the time the messages were sent.

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  • Why do you even still have texts and sex convos from your ex from 3 years ago?

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    • It's from my fb account. I didn't erased any convo to prove that I've nothing to hide, and now I regret it

    • I know its not the same, but my last ex kept pictures of all his exes on his fb, and the pictures were of them close together and cuddly. It bothered me so much, and I let him know that and he did nothing about it. I know you say you have nothing to hide, but part of being in a relationship means that you are able to trust each other, and that shouldn't mean that you have to prove yourself that way. Trust is gained over time, not by proof of conversations or documents or verification through a persons friends. For one, that person was your ex.. and an ex from 3 years ago, those convos should be long gone, because to me (and its the same for the pictures my ex had of his) it makes me think your still not over your ex. I don't know why your girlfriend would have asked to see the messages in the first place, unless she was already lacking trust in you for some reason.

    • AHA, more evidence for my contention that FB is a girly tool for girly girls, and that boys have zero reason to be on it unless it's generating business revenue.

      I like when I'm so right about stuff. (:

  • First of all, why do you have texts from 3 or 4 years ago?

    And secondly, why is she mad about it? They're 3 years old and you're over her! What's her problem? I don't understand why she would break up when she was the one who asked.

    I guess you are both wrong is some way. :p

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  • So texts are 4 years old and you have been dating this new girl for 3 years.

    So let's say you kept those messages for a year, so I understand, nothing wrong with that.

    The problem is the girl, there's no need to stay on the past, IF you would be talking to your ex and still have sex chats and stuff, then I'd be on her side, BUT since you haven't talked to her for 4 years, that's fine.

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  • Yeah im gonna guess that she's probably got mad because you actually still have texts from 3 years ago from your ex.
    But lets be realistic.. if you have txts from so long ago maybe your holding onto something with ur ex?
    Maybe thats why she's ready to leave..

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  • She's got some serious insecurity issues to work on. Why the fuck did she even want to see your old texts? ?

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    • why did he keep them is bigger question. dumb

    • @SITdown I wondered that too. Maybe we just agree both are dumb? This relationship doesn't seem to be on very firm ground.

  • Were these texts from before you got together or after?

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  • When did you show her the texts? Recently or when you started dating?

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    • recently... the txts are 4 yr old, I'm with her for 3 years

    • Show All
    • @lumos I do not think any girl would be okay with her boyfriend keeping text messages he has from his ex. Would you be okay with it if she still had text messages from her ex. Getting rid of your ex's things is just something you do out of respect for your new relationship, even getting rid of texts.

    • I would be ok with my guy having old messages. It doesn't mean anything. Some people just don't have that sentimental value so they don't care enough to get rid of it. I wouldn't mind at all. I wouldn't even care enough to ask him if he even has any texts. Because they're old. It's in the past. If he's with me, then it's for a reason.

  • If you were still talking than yeah. but dude thats old text.

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    • thats exatly my poin. but how to explain it to her

    • I don't know. Thats just crazy. Why would she get mad? She has to accept your past. Its part of life. She is with you for a reason!

  • You shouldn't even still have text messages from 3 years ago if you have been dating this other girl for 2.5 years. Thats why she's insecure and going wild. Put yourself in her shoes.

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  • The fact that you still have them is the problem, or you were talking to your ex back then better than your girlfriend now and she feels that the ex was better if you were showing her more attention

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  • She probably got jealous seeing you like that with another girl

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  • Maybe its the fact that you're still holding on to texts from your ex from 3 years ago. That's weird.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Derp. Are you stupid? Why do you still have sexts from an ex of 3 years ago?
    Do you keep all of your ex's photos, sex videos and keepsakes as well? Are you going to show her your sex tapes with the ex if she asks too?

    If you asked to see photos of her ex, and she showed you a picture of her with his dick in her mouth, how would you feel?

    When she asks such a personal and sensitive question, you need to ask, "What are the pros and cons of showing these to her". Frankly, I can see no benefit to showing my current girlfriend intimate material from another woman from 3+ years ago. But I can name a million things that could go wrong by showing them to her. So you basically made this mess yourself.

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  • It all went wrong by you keeping those texts "still". That was stupid of you and you should never keep and show texts to any new girlfriend. I am surprised how un-empathetic that was of you. Of-course she asked to see them "she saw you still had them or even talked about them". Did you really think it would make her feel better about your relationship when she knows you are holding on to those messages for a deeper reason. I know this, your girlfriend "now EX" knows this, the only one clueless is you.
    what did you truly expect her reaction to be?
    No need to respond I already the answers.

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  • So, I was puzzled at first but reading the responses I think the ladies are right, probably upset that you still had them and is maybe even jealous. It's not something to break up over though and she should at least have the decency to tell you WHY she wants to breakup (talk about it). Even if you guys manage to work this out you're going to have more problems down the road if she's not willing to talk to you about what bothers her.

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  • Man don't bang yourself up over her get your pride stand tall. Don't let her have the pleasure of trying to break you.

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  • You did nothing wrong- YOU JUST DODGED A BULLET. Be fucking happy- one less bitch in your life.

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    • hence' the lone rider. If you knew women you would't have such clueless irresponsible advice as this.

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    • I just pinned your URL device showing a below sea level dwelling.
      Do you want to recant your basement comment?

    • @SITdown That comment gave me cancer. Do you even English bro?

  • What's she mad about exactly?

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  • It went wrong when she was asking to see your texts.
    If she can't trust you, it won't work.

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  • Anyone like that isn't healthy, it a good thing!

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  • You probably should have gotten rid of the texts. Even the sexting. That's really private.

    That might have come across as bragging or could have come across as you're still not over the ex (whereas you might see it as "proof" of loyalty, or even just to keep the "when" stuff in your head).

    Small question... you're building yourself to HER dream?

    Build you for your dream, and if she likes it, great, but don't change yourself just for her. Do it because you want/need to for yourself.

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  • maybe she saw you were more erotic to your ex? maybe she felt like a cheap substitute? maybe she was turned off that you didn't hve oher things going on for you and lost attraction? women are cray it could be anything?

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    • Vtachy made a very good observation too. why did you even keep them.

    • As I said, I kept them to prove that I've nothing to hide from her

    • too beta pedestalising asskisser then? whatever the case is i think its better without her.

  • You didn't she's just being a bitch... they're always playing some disgusting mind games.

    Kick her fucking ass out of your life

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