Girls, help me understand what she's thinking?

I broke up with a girl yesterday, this time for good, or at least the foreseeable future. She got divorced 6 months ago. She was with her ex for 9 years and he cheated on her the whole time. She has been so hurt and angered by this, but she told me yesterday she realized she's still in love with him and needs time to work through the pain, and didn't want to lead me on in case she never moves past it. She also said that talking to me made things hard and stressful. I take that to mean that she's torn and conflicted and needed a little time.

For context, we had gone through some ups and downs since the beginning of November, but always continued talking. She had broken up with me a couple of times but then came back to me, which I was supposed to know meant she wanted to take it slowly. I had ended things with her once or twice, and it was harder to get it back. We finally broke up last Sunday, and she blocked my number. I figured out by Thursday that she had unblocked it (obviously meaning part of her still wanted to hear from me), so I texted her Friday. We talked a bit yesterday and that's when she ended it for good (I'm assuming I won't hear from her for a while, if ever, but it wouldn't totally shock me to get a text from her this week). Anyway it seems like it's done for good now. We had a long phone conversation yesterday and I told her everything I could think to say. I wasn't bitter or angry or nasty, but made it clear I was hurt and disappointed.

So tell me - what's going on in her head? Am I out of the picture? Is she going to spend the next month thinking about me vs. him? Is she going to miss me? Is she going to wonder at some point if she made a mistake? Is she going to want me back, or will she reach back out maybe after the new year?

Obviously no one can say for sure what's happening in her head. But in your experience, what do you think?


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  • She isn't ready yet


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