He doesn't want to meet me. Why?

My ex and I have been split up over a month, we agreed to be friends yet all he's done is ignore me or try to get me to send him naked pics and gets mad when I say no. When I try to have a normal conversation he ends up getting mad at me. He said meeting is a bad idea every time I mention it. It used to be because he said we would end up having sex, but I've told him several times I don't want too. he told me he was over me and going to date new people and I said that's fine, he told me I had too as well. So I have, I don't understand why he is determined not to see me. I don't want him back, I told him this the last time we spoke and asked him if the reason he didn't want to hangout was because he was worried he would try something and he wouldn't answer the question. We didn't have a bad break up and he dumped me, I've done no contact for a while, but maybe I should leave it longer I just wanted us to be fine for Christmas and the holidays. Can someone help me figure out what is going on.


Most Helpful Guy

  • he said he wants to remain friends because maybe he wants things to be civil OR in his head he truly wants to be friends but just isn't ready at this moment

    a lot of people say this at a break up but the simple fact is most former partners don't remain friends even with the best of intentions to do so

    • I think he has a lot on his plate, he tells me how happy he is and how he's been on a date and everything is good. I think the thing with the girl has fallen through, but a couple of weeks ago he was telling me how sexy I was. He seems to get very angry with me and rants at me every now and again, over different topics once about he was never getting back with me and I had just asked how his dying mum is. Do you think me trying to be his friend is confusing him? I do care so much about him. I have started going on dates with other people as well, he found out and started asking about it. He's watching all my snapchat stories, and tells me he will always be there for me, then ignores me when I need help.

    • i think he's just ambivalent. whihc is to say kind of undecided about what he wants. it can be confusing after a break up. you want to be around the person because you have a bond with them but being around them can be confusing as you have mixed emotions. feelings of longing and desire countered with the feelings that led to the break up... i think it's just a thing of seeing where it goes.

    • I think I'm going to back off for a bit, I have Christmas presents I got for him before we broke up. I mentioned it to him and said I can drop it off on his door step if he still is against seeing me by then, he seems really unsure what to do, he says he doesn't want me driving up just to leave it on his doorstep and is considering when he's free, I would keep the stuff myself but it is sort of something only he likes. Will I go nc until closer to Christmas and just see how things pan out?

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should just cut all form of communication with him. He doesn't even have respect for you, if he's asking for naked pics.

    • Do you think? I just thought he was confused about us being over and what's going on. Or sometimes he does seem to think he's got me wrapped around his finger and can get what he wants :/ maybe cutting him out of my life until all the emotions have settled would be right.

    • He clearly thinks that he's got you wrapped around his finger. You don't even have to give him the Christmas present you bought him. Give it to someone else or get a refund for it if possible.

    • Would I be able to do that once he knows about it or would I go nc and see if he speaks to me, and if he doesn't return it after Xmas!

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What Guys Said 2

  • You want to meet him and do what? Just waste his time. Thats all. Friendship between guys and girls doesn't exist. Get over this illusion! Let alone friendship with an ex! Biggest red flag! When you break up with someone, then it is over! History! You move on! No phone calls, no drive by the home to see how it's going, no ''lets meet up for a coffee''. Just get over it! I think we have once again here a girl who had her first boyfriend and can't get over him as always. Girls and their fucking first. Always a problem. The next guy you meet and he finds out you're still in contact with your ex, forget him. You won't achieve anything!

    • He's not even close to being my first relationship, and I've maintained friendships with the rest of them, that was quite presumptive off you.

    • Yeah ok. Go on. It's your choice. We all know that girls like to lie to others and of course their own self. And when someone shows up and is telling you the truth you begin with ''No no shut up I don't want to hear the truth leave me alone!''

    • Why would I lie about it, I'm 24 years of course I've had relationships before, I'm glad for the advice as that's why I'm here but to turn round and presume it's my first boyfriend would be wrong. I'm someone who likes to leave things on good terms and never come across something like this

  • Cut that cancer out of your life. He sounds toxic.

    • He is having a hard time at the moment I think he's very unsteady and I just happen to be there when he needs someone to rant at, or I can really annoy him and not realise it. I'm trying very hard to see things from his perspective

What Girls Said 0

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