From innocent good girl wife material to this "dark" character. She is my everything. How did my ex-girlfriend change soo rapidly?

I met her when she was 13 and for 3 years I was like her big brother-she had a crush on me all that time and when she turned 16 we started dating and quickly things became serious. We were extremely romantic and serious. To sum things up we were on the road to marriage in a very strong way. We were both eachother's first relationship/love and sexual partner. Just last month she was mentioning to me how she wants me to propose to her soon and kept on saying how she was thinking that we should get engaged before the end of the year. I couldn't even go to the toilet without her coming to open the door because "she felt disconnected from me" while i was in the toilet. A week later she broke up with me. Her reasoning was that she loved me but it was like a brother and that I just wanted her and I to exist in our own little world and have nothing else. Granted some complacency had set in after 4 years of being together - we would often just cuddle on the couch instead of going out. Now all she does is go out clubbing, she has started smoking and drinking and doing crazy things. We had not spoken in 3 weeks (she ignored me as i tried to win her back) then out of the blue she called me to meet up at my house. She came over and told me how she has anger because she has lost her younger years, what she wants in a guy now is different and that with me she wanted to get married young but now she is single she is loving the independence and thinks she never wants to ever get married. She said she just wants peace between us and could be my friend and us meeting up is kind of like a goodbye (as she began to cry). She says she is totally fine and not upset at all. I know a plethora of guys are after her now because she was my sweet innocent little flower and now she has turned into this seemingly "dark" character that smokes and drinks and hooks up with whoever and clubs as much as she can and I think she is sleeping around. Can anybody give me some advice? How do I get her back


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  • You probably can't get her back as who you are. I have to say that I suspect something happened to her. Maybe she was raped? There must be a trigger for this transformation.

    • Nope she wasn't raped or anything. The trigger for the breakup was a silly argument we had. Her dad had reprimanded her the day before about who she is and how things are not good in her family.

    • Um Hun you don't know if she's telling you everything. It sounds like something serious happened. You need to ask her for a for real serious conversation.

  • Sounds like she is overcompensating for the time she feels she lost. I don't know if you ever get her back

    • I agree she is overcompensating. I feel I can get her back. You don't just go from wanting to be married and not allowing me to close the door while I'm in the toilet because she felt disconnected to me otherwise to just wanting nothing to do with me and suddenly partying like this. She came to my house a few days ago to talk after we had not been in contact for 3 weeks

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