I'm still deeply in love with him. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about being back with him. It's been over 9 months and I'm still not over him after a 5 year relationship. At some point, we both argued almost everyday and he told me that he had fallen for someone else (a female friend) who he told me was like family to him. I was devastated. Almost killed myself because I didn't eat in a week. I went to the hospital and ate mush for weeks after that. I thought I was fat and ugly, why would he leave me? What did she have that I didn't? I lost a whopping 20 lbs. He tried to explain to me that I was beautiful and he still cared for me but we've ran our course and it was over.
Within weeks, he put photos online with his new girlfriend kissing and mentioning how he's the luckiest man alive. She met the family and they liked her. I felt like I was being replaced, like 5 years out of the window. I kept in touch with him but blocked him 2 months ago, dying to move on. I hooked up with another guy and we both seem to like eachother and he asked me to be his girlfriend. The sex was good and he made me laugh, so I was all in. This helped, but my ex still popped up in my mind. This guy and I haven't even gone out for 3 months yet and it's already going sour because of our communication.
Today, I saw my ex. He invited me to lunch just to brag about how he gave his new girlfriend a promise ring. I was devestated. Went in the bathroom to cry. He grabbed me by the hand and looked into my eyes and told me that he still loves me. He misses me and he still thinks about me. We went back to his house and made love. It wasn't planned but I didn't stop him. He told me that he loved me a million times, called me beautiful and even said that we'd be back together one day and I'll have his child. Each word was like a relief just to be disappointed in the end. At the end, he acted very distant, was quiet and told me that he do
Most Helpful Guy
If he's willing to cheat on her, what makes you think he wouldn't cheat on you9
Most Helpful Girl
He's using you. He's disgusting and toxic and doesn't deserve a moment of your time.
The fact that the ex is popping up into your mind is because your brain has gotten used to him being there.
The new guy doesn't deserve to be compared to the ex, and you probably expect him to react and respond in the same way as your ex did because you were accustomed to it. Get to know him as himself, not a variation of the fake, manipulative asshole you're trying to replace.
I'm sorry for calling him that. I know it's hard to hear when you love him, and that I couldn't possible know.
I've been in similar situations, as two characters- the new guy and you.
In the end, the only thing that worked for me was a commitment to taking care of myself. I tried not to let my thoughts get out of control- don't say things to yourself you wouldn't say to a close friend! Do things that are ostensibly YOU - a hobby. I played guitar because the strings hurt my fingers and it was more productive than other forms of self harm. By the time the strings stopped hurting, I didn't need to anymore. I went running and pounded out my energy.
Get angry. Fight for yourself. Block the loser who betrayed you and is now using you.
You're not a doll to be played with until he finds someone easier to manipulate.
If he really really loved you, he would not have left in the first place.
It's absolutely nothing to do with you not being good enough. That's the patriarchy speaking. It's his failure to be a decent human being- and imho the very very least you could ask for in loving someone is that they are a decent human being.
When someone shows you their true colours, please believe them.1