Midlife crisis?

I was in a relationship with a 39 year old man for about a year. His mentality and attitude is more like a 30 year old. He has children from his previous marriage. I have a baby that is from my previous relationship and he has known my baby since before he was born and came to the hospital with me when he was born.
He was accepting of the baby; carried him around, pushed his stroller, kissed his cheek etc. He started acting concerned that we couldn't just go places alone; I needed to arrange for a sitter, but he only gave me enough notice a few times. So the baby was with us most of the time. Keep in mind that he also has children..
We got serious; exchanged, "I love yous"... always together... It bothered me that he couldn't ever make up his mind about where to travel, what to do about his kids, his dog. Couldn't make up his mind about anything. He was always talking about " plans" or his future in a worried, indecisive way.
He accused me of cheating on Nov 7. Distanced himself, started acting strangely. This went on for about a month until I found his pof account. He was messaging/propositioning other women as early as Nov 3. I confronted him. He says that since he didn't post a picture of himself that he wasn't cheating (it is a cartoon picture)... now he blocked me on his phone, and all social media. I can't even get my debit card or my car seat back from him. Usually he is a fair and kind person.
We were talking about marriage and moving out of state together just a couple of weeks ago...
I miss him but also I don't really want to deal with his behavior right now and I want to give him space... not sure what to do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Bin him, it sounds like he's a serial cheat and was just played the part well in your life to gain your trust etc before moving in. He's probably already set up elsewhere with his next victim so keep him at arms length and just concentrate on you and your child.

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    • Update... I found out that he started seeing someone else and didn't want me any more. Fuck him though.

    • Yeh fuck him. Hate guys like this they give the rest a bad name. I hope everything works out well for u in the future, good luck x

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What Guys Said 2

  • Not a midlife crisis. It's something else. He's kind of young for a midlife crisis anyway. It sounds more like he just doesn't know what he wants, and maybe a bit flaky.

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  • First things first, if you can't get your debit card back.. call and deactivate it.

    Second... if he has a Pof account... ''It isn't cheating if he doesn't have a pic''... it is intent to cheat, at the very least he is tempted and at least thinking of doing something, or going elsewhere.

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