Why is my ex contacting me just to hurl insults at me?

Long story short, he was very emotionally abusive, so I called it quits and went NC. He tried luring me in with his fake apologies and what not, but I stood my ground. Now, a few months later, he contacted me with the very clear motive of upsetting me. He started telling me about how he never liked me anyway and things of that nature. Seemed like he was trying to provoke a reaction from me, which I did not oblige. Then he told me that he needed advice about a new girl. Of course, I told him to leave me alone and blocked him. My question is this, really: why in the world would he contact me after months of NC, when we were obviously over, just to pick a fight with me?


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What Guys Said 2

  • He's not over you and just wants you to respond to him. He has already tried faking being nice so he decided to go the other direction with it and insult you. When that didn't work, he tried to use jealousy. He pretty much just wanted your attention.

    • This ^^^ 101% I was in similar situation BUT I was the guy... Now I can't speak on his behalf but for me personally I was so hung-up and fixated on the woman who ditched me that any kind of contact whether good or bad would feed my need/itch but it only would prolong the grieving process forcing me to feel emotions and start all over. Basically he needs to realize that so he can move on but there's nothing you can do unless you want to talk to him but that will probably make this last longer so the best thing you can do is just avoid contact if you can & want to.

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    • @Distant - Exactly! There was a question I seen on G@G a few weeks ago asking "would you rather be the dumpee or the dumper?" and I was in complete disbelief by the amount of people (the majority of them) saying they don't have the heart to break it off so they'd rather be the one dumped... and I was like "have any of you been dumped or rejected before?" I don't know I found the reasoning moronic and insulting because for someone like me who over-analyses & overthinks everything being dumped is going to torment me because my mind won't stop searching for all the reasons why.

    • @WhateverMayBeWillBe, I could not agree more. It's ALWAYS better to be the "dumper". At least, if you're breaking up with them, you know the relationship is going south and you actually want to break up. The "dumpee" is often blind-sided and, like you said, left questioning why they got dumped.

  • Welcome to north Carolina again


What Girls Said 1

  • You just get toxic people. Sometimes it's people you don't even think are capable of it. You said yourself he wanted to upset you and only someone who is very much trouble will want to do something like that. You did the right thing by going NC. He is really bad news and also incredibly immature.


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