I started dating a wonderful girl about 5 months ago. At this point I had never cheated or even considered it. About two weeks into our relationship I got into a life threatening accident and broke five ribs and shattered my foot and suffered a traumatic brain injury. I lived after being rushed to the hospital. And she helped me and got me through the pain and the accident. But about a month after the accident who I was completly changed. I felt weird and distant. My brain injury had messed up who I was. I had a birthday party one night and got really drunk and cheated. Only time in my life it happened. So I broke up with her and did not tell her it happened. I felt so horrible! After a two weeks we started talking again and I was going to tell her before we got back togather. I started to get a grip on who I was again and learning to deal with these feelings and getting a grasp on handling my injury. I was starting to feel like me again. Before this I was known as the most loyal guy. We have a group of a hundred friends. Before I could tell her a friend of ours did. And she considered taking me back and then just decided to not talk to me anymore. I have been going to a traumatic Brian specialist now and he told me that this happens with your personality. But i know what I did I did. And there is no excuse. But i feel like me again. And I lost the girl I should marry. I know I'm the biggest asshole in the world. So please give me honest advice. I have beat myself up beyond guilt.
Most Helpful Girl
I know most people will say "people don't change, if he cheated once he'll cheat again." However I do believe in change.
The only thing you can do is fight for her pretty much. You know her better than us. You know what she loved about you the most, put it in to use. You need to tell HER how much you love her. Write her letters for some days, and I mean handwritten letters, as they are more romantic or real than texts. Or even poems if you can. Show her how much you feel guilty, change the habits she didn't like about you. For example, promise her to not get drunk again, as that is what ruined your whole love story in the first place. She is angry at what you did, which is completely understandable, but perhaps if she saw your dedication, it would calm down the seed of anger in her heart and she could love again.
However if that doesn't work after some time then you should leave her some space. You messed up big time so don't blame her if she doesn't come back, but I could feel like you sincerely love her. And at first when I saw you both started talking again after you first broke up with her it made me sense she might love you as well. It is only a matter of whether she'll accept you again or not now. But sometimes you have to let things go and if they return to you then it was meant to be.
Good luck man.
Most Helpful Guy
I can't imagine what having a brain injury is like or how it impacts on you, your personality and hte very essence of who you are.
But what I do know is that we are the sum of our yesterdays. What happens to us deeply impacts on who we are and how we respond to life in the future.
So you cheated. It was one moment in time. When not only are you at a low ebb but you were still in the process of 'finding yourself' again.
I can appreciate that you are feeling like you lost your girl but perhaps its more important that now that you've found who you are again. Start over with her, pursue her like she's a a girl you just fell for last night. Ask her out afresh, ask her to start over with you too. Wipe the slate clear as best you can and then... every moment, very chance you get treat her like she's the only woman in the world... cos as far as I can tell, in your world she is exactly right.1