Should I break up with my boyfriend?

My boyfriend who is 30, I am 25, have been dating for 15 months. He constantly is looking at other girls on the Internet, on fb and Instagram. He friend requests strippers, and stalks a few certain girls on Instagram. I wouldn't care as much if these women were famous or something like that, but these are average girls, and it hurts me. We can't even go out in public without him breaking his neck to look at other girls... walking down the street, shopping for groceries or out to dinner. He doesn't kiss me and we hardly have sex, once a month... so it makes me feel worse. If our sex life was great and he kissed me and gave me attention, I wouldn't care as much... but I feel like the energy he spends on these girls he could spend on me. I have told him countless times how this bothers me... he has a lock on his phone and takes it with him everywhere. He is on his phone constantly, looking through profiles and Instagram accounts. He will stare at a girls pictures for a good five minutes. He also had a fake account on fb with dozens of trashy looking girls half naked as friends. He is not cheating, physically, he works from home and I'm always here.. I feel like he takes me completely for granted. I get hit on quite a lot and asked out and I wonder why he doesn't see me the same way these other guys do.. Its much deeper then i can really write out, but it's been going on pretty much since the start of our relationship. He never compliments me, doesn't like my photos on fb, doesn't follow me on Instagram or snapchat, but has the time to comment, like, and follow strangers on social media. Should I break up with him and move back home? More like will this shock him into being a better boyfriend, because i can't go on like this, feeling like second fiddle to these girls and feeling inadequate. Advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey,
    This situation totally sucks for you. I hear your annoyance and frustration.
    You'll probably hear this a lot but you deserve better.

    Something obviously attracted you to this guy in the first place. Is that still in play? If so, How does that thing stack up against all that you've shared here... and the stuff you haven't? Whichever way the scales tip will be you're answer.

    But from what I've just read my money would go on you moving back home and finding someone who's intersted in giving you some attention. Some wanting to put the time and energy into making you feel like the only woman in his world.

    Goodnight and good good luck

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What Guys Said 4

  • Sounds like the guy needs to hit the road immediately, he's no good for you at all. As you've mentioned, it's easy to forgive a few glances here and there when you're out and about, checking out girls is just what guys do. The rest of the stuff though, especially the whole part about going to such lengths as to have a fake fb account filled with slutty girls just screams that he's not interested in you at all.

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  • Yep absolutely. He doesn't seem like a faithful guy or something... and also, does he checks out other girls in front of you like you're not there or what?

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    • Ya right in front of me and he's super creepy about it.. and the other girls notice so it's embarrassing for me.. he checks out a girl head to toe like he's never seen tits and a good body before.. I don't get it. I never feel good enough for him..

    • Show All
    • Easier said then done. :(

    • He's inconsiderate about your feelings for sure and you can only take so much of that. He doesn't deserve you and you deserve someone else better. You've gotta end this relationship before he waste any more of your time alright? I do hope you find what it is you are looking for.

  • you already know you should break up. If he doesn't pay adequate attention to you than yes for sure. and he shouldn't be paying so much attention to other girls. a quick glance every once in a while not so bad but all the time is way too far.

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    • Right. :( and I'm ok with glances, and he thinks I don't notice, so he keeps it up and then I've finally had my limit and I say something... and for real, I don't honk he's just checking them out to see what they got, I get a feeling like he is lusting after them and comparing me.. he even once said that.

    • It seems like you have plenty of other options available to you. You sound like you got a smart head on your shoulders. You know you dont deserve to feel this way and if he isn't going to change to help you feel more close to him/ better and more confident in the way he sees you. than you really have no other option. you can always try to give him one more chance if you love him and want it to work but this time make it sound more like an ultimatum.

  • If he is not giving you what you need, then move on.

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What Girls Said 6

  • If you're not home, don't sacrifice your happiness because you live with him. If you've countlessly have communicated this with him and there still is no change, then I would indeed leave. I'm not going to put up with stuff that makes me unhappy, a boyfriend should always make you feel more than enough, and it's good you understand that we're only humans and we aren't automatically going to think someone is unattractive because we're in a relationship but there is a difference between looking, and gawking / obsessively lurking, which is disrespectful to you. Best of luck x

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  • That's extremely disrespectful. You should just pack up your things and leave right now. He deserves no explanation. I'm pretty sure he has already done something you don't know about. This is creepy.

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    • He also had another phone, an old one, and when I looked trough it there were messages to hookers and girls from backpage.. when I confronted him, he lied, and when I pressures more he said he didn't meet up with them...

    • Don't be stupid. If he didn't meet them, it's because he could not afford them. He is a no good dog. Please go find a good man♡

  • I think you should leave him. Every girl deserves a man who makes her feel beautiful and special. If he isn't doing that for you then he isn't worth your time, you deserve better.

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  • If you need to break up with him and you will feel better than do it!

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  • He's done. You deserve better

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  • It may seem obvious, but I say it's time to leave him.

    Your assessment of him justifies that. He'd rather spend his time ogling at other women, befriending them on Facebook, Instagram, etc., but yet he can't even take less than a second to follow you on Instagram, or he can't take a couple minutes (if even that) to leave you a comment on your Facebook? I don't know why you are willing to stay with him when you realize that you are playing second fiddle to other women, and when it's painfully obvious that he's taking you for granted. Please, leave him.

    Plus, like you said, he may not have cheated (but, with all his fake accounts plus his constantly checking out other women, befriending strippers, etc., I wouldn't put it past him to have cheated/be cheating already), but it's his actions that are speaking loudly, and what his actions are saying are that you are not worth the time as all the other women are.

    You deserve WAY more and much better than what he's offering. You said you get hit on by other men, so I say that you take advantage of that. You deserve someone who is more than willing to spend time with you and give you the attention & affection that should be present in a normal relationship.

    I say break up with him. Like you said, if he is shocked by you leaving, and gets shocked into making the effort to be a better boyfriend, then that's positive and MAYBE deserves another chance, but if he's not shocked and doesn't change, then you deserve to move on and find someone who will give you the attention, affection, and time you deserve.

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