What does it mean when my husband says he can't give me what I need?

I have recently found out that he's being seeing another women.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yikes, that's got to be a painful situation.
    What he means is just that, he needs something from a relationship that he's not getting from you. Now he is the one who has to express to you what that need is. I cannot speculate on what your relationship is like, how you two are around each other, what your interactions are like. But he has turned to another woman because he is getting from her what he isn't getting from you. I don't condone this behavior because it is disrespectful to you and your committed relationship. Instead of turning to another woman, he should talk to you about where your relationship is lacking and work through it. Not that it can be worked through in every case. Some cases people get married when they're not a good match for each other and no amount of work will fix it. But every case is different. Personally I'd say if he doesn't respect you enough to come to you first to work out issues, and goes to another women to get his needs met outside of the marriage, then he's probably not worthy of your commitment.

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What Guys Said 11

  • He's trying to deflect your anger by making himself look weak and insecure. Women are suckers for it. It takes the blame away from you and makes you feel sorry for him. I used to break up with girls all the time with it. After all women are only angry deep down because they feel they failed and there must be something wrong with them. Take that element away and it'd like putting a pin back in the grenade. Men are far far far smarter than women give them credit for. But it plays to our advantage if women think we're not.

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    • someone saying they can't give me what i need, does not make me feel like i failed, it makes me think he's full of shit bc i never sad i needed anything. its a line guys use to try to get out of things while feeling powerful. like the other person is needy or flawed and he's just innocently trying to carry on with life.

      he's married if hs having problems he talks to his wife not cheats.
      if you think what he did was smart and not transparent, then you're really not.

    • @Azara what are you rambling on about? Your saying exactly what I said. You've obviously got a guy complex if you think I'm supporting what he did. I just said he played her pride off against her. he's trying to make out it was his failings and nothing she did to make her feel sorry for him and vindicate her from any failure on her part. Reverse psychology 101. If you know a person then it's easy to manipulate them

  • My first impression is that he's telling you he can't be faithful. Which, in honesty, is probably a crock of shit. He CAN, he just doesn't want to.

    I'd ask him what HE means by that and what it is he thinks he's incapable of doing.

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  • It means he doesn't think he can provide you with unconditional love that would keep him coming back for more. He can't give you the life you want with a guy because there are things that don't fufill him enough.

    In a nutshell he wants to move on

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  • it means he wants out but has'nt got the balls to say that

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  • Wow, what an asshole

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  • Basically he is an asshole. He failed at your marriage not you. you ever need someone to talk to you can tall to me :)

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  • You poor baby...*sigh*

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  • It could well mean he cannot give you a happy and faithful marriage that he believes you so richly deserve.

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  • Basically, he's a dick. He has cheated and is making up excuses so it seems ok. You're better off without him in your life.

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  • Castrate him.

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  • posted in 'break up and divorce' section. we know what's next.

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What Girls Said 7

  • This is an unfortunate catch all phrase like "I'm not ready to be in a relationship " or "it's not you, it's me." These are cowardly ways of trying to ease out of something. I hope you "gave him what he needs" by a foot up his butt, and threw him out.

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  • That he probably can't give you loyalty or perfume in ways you want him to.

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  • Sorry to hear about your situation. But it's basically a nice way of saying that they don't love you, they realize you deserve love but don't want to be the one to give you it anymore.

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  • He sounds like he is losing interest

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  • It means he's a coward. You don't need that kind of guy. Good riddance to him.

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  • He isn't good enough for you and can't give you what you deserve in a relationship

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  • He's saying he's a jerk and he's not going to stop cheating

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