'Never again' motto?

I was best friends with this guy and as most stories go, I had feelings for him. He had feelings for me too but he couldn't get it together. We went out on a date one night and things actually felt like they were going somewhere. A week later, he completely shuts me out and of course, somehow it was all my fault. Or at least that's how he made it seem, and I really did blame myself for him being a complete ass.Oh I spent months feeling like I wasn't worthy, and most nights I would cry just trying to think about how I could "fix" things which obviously made everything worse.

During this time, he wasn't just an ass to me, but even to some of his own friends but they too put up with it. One day during the spring, I walked away from him and that was that. I regained my sanity that summer. I pretty much put the pieces of the puzzle together once I started thinking clearly again. His friends never liked me, not a one. One of his friends, who was a girl, had a major crush on him and started whispering untrue crap in his ear about me which obviously freaked him out. Not long after that, they started hooking up.

All that started last happening about 2 years ago, before that we had been best friends for 4 years. The whole cocky jack ass routine didn't start until then.

I started running into him again this past fall. Since he had a girlfriend, we all just kind of passed in silence. If I seen him alone, he would wave or smile as would I. About a year later, he stopped and made small talk with me. I found out later that him and his girlfriend had broken up about a month before that.

But here's the thing. I never got over him. He knows I still care about him. I know you think I am probably the most naive, dumb girl but hear me out. I know now that what happened was not my fault. I know that he lied to me and pretty much cheated on me and there is no excuse for that. I know that I deserve better, someone who doesn't think of me as their fall back. I've been in a major conflict about this. I sent told him one day, the quote: "Moving on is easy but it's what you leave behind that makes it difficult." I told him that I was happy with my life but I missed him and I don't really expect things to go back to all those years ago.

He has had maybe 2 serious girlfriends and he has gone back to both of them but only for a short time. He always said that it was a mistake because nothing ever changes; the guy doesn't believe in second chances because every time he's given one, he has gotten hurt. I think this is ironic because I've given him multiple chances. All I have ever wanted was him. Do you think he would ever give us a second chance, starting with rebuilding the friendship? I'll admit, I have said my share of hurtful things to him but if I can forgive the past, do you think he can too?


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What Guys Said 1

  • [ Reality check ]

    "... I know that he lied to me and pretty much cheated on me and there is no excuse for that."

    "I know now that what happened was not my fault."

    - Move on. Relationships are not about pain. Cheating = No need for more relationships, buh bye. *Cash register sound*

    Get this, it's a really short story that is truthful to the bone:

    - 4.5 years I dated a girl, the 4th year was really fun. First couple were rough. During the 3rd year we dated, we broke up. She went straight to my best friend and slept with him (sexually- but to keep it "pg-13"). Afterwards, I was cold and an ass until I learned. Now I make the ex laugh as a friend until as of two days ago, she became distant. She moved on, so what do I do? move on.

    Simple-short-blunt-acute-accurate.

    Trust us, it's the best thing you can do. Otherwise your risking even more emotional attatchment. Just move on. Now. Not tomarrow. Don't think about it... Move on.

    *PS- I kept this short because I didn't care to write out a 1,000,000 word essay on my beliefs about cheating, how he is treating you, or otherwise. It may seem very rude when you first read this- I EMPLORE you to read it again if you think it's offensive. After the second time through, you will notice that I'm telling you the truth while being a smartass. My bad lol*

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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What Girls Said 1

  • As much as you may love this guy, love is not supposed to be so difficult, you cannot change people or hold them captive for your love. Why is it so important for this particular guy to love you? I promise you even if he changes his mind it would not work out because it wasn't natural. You cannot even hear me right now because you want me to say go for it, but you will only be hurting yourself. You need to get over this guy, he is easily influenced by what people say and never gave you the treatment you deserved, he might be cute but it doesn't matter. The sad thing is you are so blinded by love, you forget there's a whole world out there with people who need love too and would gladly give it back to you.

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