I have had depression in my teen days (suicidal) and I recovered for 5 years ago but sometimes I struggle with accepting myself and low self esteem and he know this and know that I have had a hard year with trusting him (I have had several dreams about him cheating on me for a year *almost every day*) but still he lied to me about their relationship. We are still friends cause I forgave him, but I feel angry today and hurt... How can I feel better about this situation?
This isn't the first time, but I this is the worst one. I couldnt take it anymore cause the last thing I want to do is dug my grave into a dark place because of a boyfriend... not happening.
When I broke up with him he just started to cry his eyes out and didn't understand why.. and just begged me for us to take some years from each other to mature and date again, but right now I am unsure if I even want that.