Why does this keep happening in our relationship?

My ex and I have been on and off for the past year and a half. Almost 2 months ago we started talking again and at first everything seemed to be going good. Unfortunately my then boyfriend said that I was being too clingy and once I distanced myself from him and stopped being affectionate as much as I use to be that is when all of our problems started. We fight over the most petty things. Our biggest issue is that even though we fight, I always bring up problems that should have been resolved back up or other issues that I did not talk about during our fight. I am not sure why I keep doing this, but I think it has a lot to do with the way that he argues with me. When he fight, the way he talks to me during it makes me feel that what I have to say/ what is bothering me is insignificant and meaningless which is why when he asks if there is anything else, I say no and wait to bring it up another time. With the being too clingy, I said it is either I am too clingy or not clingy at all, for me there is no middle ground to which he calls an extreme. He decided that in order for us to fix our problems, that we need to be broken up. In all honesty I think that it is stupid and pointless to be broken up in order to fix our issues and that either we're together or we are not and if we are not then there is no reason for us to keep contact. He use to be like this before when we were together and now all of a sudden when I am giving him this he thinks I am being ridiculous. What can I do to solve this relationship if it can even be saved?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What is keeping you two together? Are you two actually happy in the relationship despite all the fighting? All I'm sensing is a lot of fighting and unhappiness which doesn't seem like a ideal healthy relationship to me. He doesn't seem considerate towards you and the fact that he rather wants to break up then actually work through the problems tells me that he's not even willing to make a effort. I really believe from what you write that this relationship isn't good and meant to be.

    With that said, if you truly do want to try to make it work then it will require communication and lots of it. Both of you need to talk face to face about your problems and decide if this will work or not. You can't be broken up but still try to fix a relationship. If you want to fix things you need to work on it together as a unit.

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  • Well first think why you want to be together? DO you have more down parts than good? You both have to pick your battles, seems like you both are stubborn. It's true if you're not then there's no reason to keep in contact, you both like each other because you're familiar its harder to move on than to go back to what you knew.

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    • Well I can say from my point of view that he is my first and only love. He would give me the world to make sure that I have everything that I need. When things are good between us things are like a euphoria feeling, but when they are bad it is living in hell. I can agree that we both are very stubborn, but I have tried to compromise as much as I could meanwhile he is not willing to budge at all. It is all about hitting low blows. For instance we got into an argument after a night of drinking because I was going through his phone and had found a message to his friend saying that hickies on his neck were from this girl whom his brother thought they were messing around while we were together, I would not have been mad because we weren't together, but she is also the friend that he tried to pick for me. In order for him to prove that nothing happened, he called his best friend to which he said nothing happened and then told me to get over it. Did not apologize or anything which hurt..

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