I don't understand why he's treating me so bad after the break up, I'm going nc for my own sanity but I was just wondering if there's any tips on how to move on. And if anyone understands why exs can turn mean after a break up?
Most Helpful Girl
I think if the affection and the respect for somebody is gone - somebody respecting you wouldn't behave in a way that makes you feel antagonized and like a victim - then they won't care how you feel. They won't care how you perceive their attitude and behavior towards you. They simply act the way they feel about you - distant, detached. Maybe they want to keep their own sanity, too and letting out the frustration (coming off mean in the process) is their way of coping with the break-up.
It's important that you use the time during NC to recollect yourself, work on your self-esteem and accept and distance yourself from the breakup. This includes:
-Absolutely NO Instagram/Twitter/FB stalking. Unfollow him everywhere and block him if you aren't sure whether you can stop yourself from 'just taking a quick look to see how he's doing'. Don't. You'll hurt yourself and prolong the pain.
-Accept the pain that comes with a breakup. Talk with your friends/family/whoever you trust. Write an anonymous journal, do not avoid or suppress the emotions, try to not be at war with the pain. Accept it, work on it, unpack the baggage or else you'll carry the weight into future relationships and jeopardize not only your emotional well-being - there's much more to lose. Writing anonymous journals worked for me in the past. Once you're detached and happen to stumble back onto old posts, it'll make you laugh a little. You'll learn from it and most importantly, you'll realize that it happens to everyone all the time and people move on. The pain stops eventually, if you give yourself the time and opportunity to heal.
-Once you've confronted the pain, it's time to take better care of yourself. Did you know that eating healthy and working out a little improves your overall well-being, not only physically? You'll not only feel more confident about your appearance, it's an energy boost, it makes you happier and reduces stress. That's what you need.
- You can also watch funny movies! Go on dates with your girlfriends. Meet new people, pick up a new hobby, maybe attend new classes or courses, expose yourself to a set of new social circles. I attend "Drink and Draw" evenings where I meet up with a bunch of artists and we basically drink in a restaurant, draw, meet new like minded people.
Hey, flirting with new potential suitors will make you realize there are plenty of fish in the sea. Get out, flirt, have fun and before you even realize it, the pain fades until it's gone. Good luck1