I love someone who treats me like dirt. How to get over a bad relationship?

I don't understand why he's treating me so bad after the break up, I'm going nc for my own sanity but I was just wondering if there's any tips on how to move on. And if anyone understands why exs can turn mean after a break up?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think if the affection and the respect for somebody is gone - somebody respecting you wouldn't behave in a way that makes you feel antagonized and like a victim - then they won't care how you feel. They won't care how you perceive their attitude and behavior towards you. They simply act the way they feel about you - distant, detached. Maybe they want to keep their own sanity, too and letting out the frustration (coming off mean in the process) is their way of coping with the break-up.

    It's important that you use the time during NC to recollect yourself, work on your self-esteem and accept and distance yourself from the breakup. This includes:

    -Absolutely NO Instagram/Twitter/FB stalking. Unfollow him everywhere and block him if you aren't sure whether you can stop yourself from 'just taking a quick look to see how he's doing'. Don't. You'll hurt yourself and prolong the pain.

    -Accept the pain that comes with a breakup. Talk with your friends/family/whoever you trust. Write an anonymous journal, do not avoid or suppress the emotions, try to not be at war with the pain. Accept it, work on it, unpack the baggage or else you'll carry the weight into future relationships and jeopardize not only your emotional well-being - there's much more to lose. Writing anonymous journals worked for me in the past. Once you're detached and happen to stumble back onto old posts, it'll make you laugh a little. You'll learn from it and most importantly, you'll realize that it happens to everyone all the time and people move on. The pain stops eventually, if you give yourself the time and opportunity to heal.

    -Once you've confronted the pain, it's time to take better care of yourself. Did you know that eating healthy and working out a little improves your overall well-being, not only physically? You'll not only feel more confident about your appearance, it's an energy boost, it makes you happier and reduces stress. That's what you need.

    - You can also watch funny movies! Go on dates with your girlfriends. Meet new people, pick up a new hobby, maybe attend new classes or courses, expose yourself to a set of new social circles. I attend "Drink and Draw" evenings where I meet up with a bunch of artists and we basically drink in a restaurant, draw, meet new like minded people.
    Hey, flirting with new potential suitors will make you realize there are plenty of fish in the sea. Get out, flirt, have fun and before you even realize it, the pain fades until it's gone. Good luck


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Just shut off all contact with that ex


What Girls Said 2

  • Cutting contact with him is the only way you will allow yourself to move forward.

    The keyword here: "Allow"
    Stop allowing this treatment.
    Walk away.

    When you no longer allow something, you will no longer receive it anymore.

    "People treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated."

    Take your dignity out the door with you.
    You are a wonderful and deserving girl.
    You deserve far better.

    "Why exes turn mean after a break?"
    No one turns mean !
    They were that way all along , they just compressed it.
    Some people know how to deal with the emotions that come along with a break up.
    While others act in immature, rude, and aggressive ways.

  • People are mean because they have been hurt , and try to hurt you so they can feel better about themselves. People only treat you how you allow them to treat you. So instead of asking why he's treating you mean, ask yourself why you are allowing him to treat you that way. The only way to move on is to cut all contact with him. If you don't he'll keep on hurting you


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