Do you think the divorce rate is high these days?

And why?

What do you think the main cause of the divorce and what can be done to decrease the number of divorce?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes. Because people have way more options and far fewer reasons to stay together. People bounce at the first dealbreaker and man do people have their dealbreakers.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, I think so.

    -Main reasons for divorce-
    -Getting married too soon (you only knew the person for a very short time), so there is not much you know about them.
    When you do find out their personality traits you realize you both are incompatible with each other.
    -Getting married when you're mentally immature (People that are may cheat, because they aren't ready to handle being with one person or a monogamous relationship), Some of these people haven't explored their options in the field. They decide to do this now when they are married causing their husband or wife hurt.
    -Losing interest in husband or wife - Some people over time tend to grow a part. They no longer have much in common. There's a lot of things they don't see eye to eye on anymore.
    Also, lost of attraction can fall under this. Some people stop taking care of their appearance because they get too comfortable in their marriage.
    -Lack of communication - This can affect ones sex life. If you ignore your partner's wishes , why would they want to be with you? When they try to express their feelings they are constantly ignored.

    Those are the main reasons for divorce.
    I think people should take their time before making such a major commitment with another. Be together for a significant amount of time before you tie the knot , that way there is a better chance of things succeeding.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • I think the divorce rate has increased compared to 20 years ago, but I wouldn't consider it "high".

    Most divorces stem from 2 factors:
    1. Financial problems
    2. Stubbornness and lack of self-reflection

    When couples argue and fight, there is usually an underlying cause. They aren't fighting just because they want to. They are usually arguing about money... how much they have, need, and who's spending it recklessly or financial stress (how to pay the rent/mortgage). This CORE problem can snowball into other issues like general resentment, no sex, no intimacy, arguments about other minor issues... which then leads to either the man or woman looking for intimacy elsewhere (cheating). But the original cause is often financial in nature.

    The second issue is stubbornness and inability to self-reflect. When people do something wrong/bad in a relationship, an honest apology goes a long way. Unfortunately, many people... often men... see apologies as a sign of weakness and embarassment. Essentially, if they apologize, they lose face. Women are less likely to feel this embarrassment, which is why women often apologize after a fight... even if it was the man who was at fault. This is also why a mother "is the glue that holds the family together".

    When both members of a couple are able to swallow their pride, and apologize after wronging their partner, it allows them to reconcile, heal and grow stronger. But the inability for many to reflect on this makes the situation worse.

    If I asked you whether you would rather a.) apologize or b.) lose the relationship.
    I'll bet everyone would choose B. When it's laid out plain as day, the choice is simple. But when hidden amongst the day-to-day mundane events in life, it is much harder to distinguish. People will not apologize, allowing the minor resentment grow into a huge problem.

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    • It's been my experience that a woman will not admit fault.

  • Not everything you think you know is in fact true.

    mobile.nytimes.com/.../...t-the-myth-lives-on.html

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    • From your link

      "The marriage trends aren’t entirely happy ones. They also happen to be a force behind rising economic and social inequality, because the decline in divorce is concentrated among people with college degrees. For the less educated, divorce rates are closer to those of the peak divorce years"

    • @ArtDent

      Not at all surprising. The single greatest cause of divorce is economic distress.

      Yet, consider the fact that those who participate on GaG are predominantly college educated or are young and are on track to become college educated. That such people should worry about the sky high divorce rate is navel gazing of the very worst sort.

      Divorce, by and large is a phenomena that will happen to the people who are not involved in this discussion.

      I say this both as a man who has gone through a divorce himself and as a man happily remarried now and for the rest of my life.

    • You do realize women are outperforming men in college 60-40, right? Still navel gazing?

  • I think one of the primary causes would be general sexual incompatibility; women need to stop guilt tripping men into marrying them with false hopes of "finally be willing to show affection through sexual intimacy" when she can't be assed to actually have a desire to want to be with their own partner.

    Once guys realize that their partner lied to them about their devotion, they leave and find someone else who actually does and is willing to show their love.

    That, and this whole "abstinence until marriage" thing makes people rush into a marriage after 6 months, after which they put the rings on and in a year they realize that they didn't even know each other well enough, the moment they move to live in the same household everything falls apart.

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    • I see. But what about during her pregnancy? Men anyways need to bear the sexual incompatibility but they never be allowed to cheat don't they?

    • Show All
    • Finally you noticed, it took a long long time :P

      This is actually not the only reason why people can divorce. They can divorce for many many reasons, including financial issues, the guy being an abuser, the woman being an abuser, one party falling in love with someone else more than they were into their spouse, etc.

    • I noticed it long time ago though haha

      And yeah that's true

  • It's around the 50% mark or thereabouts and the main reason is that a vast majority of people aren't fit enough for marriage, they don't have the necessary characteristics needed in order to make a marriage work but instead of being honest with themselves, they waste their time, their partners time and their families time as well as a tonne of money by pretending they're something they are not.

    If those people were honest then there would be far less divorces.

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  • The main cause of the divorce are bad choices and bad marriages.
    What can be done to decrease the number of divorces? Don't jump into marriage before knowing each other very well.

    In the past a number of bad marriages lasted only for the show: people stayed together, hating each other. I don't wish that to anyone.

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  • Because today people (especially women) are less able to tolerate their counterpart's behavior. Wedding is about a long-lasting balance between our ego and the other person's needs. It takes a high level of maturity to achieve that. In a consuming-orientated society patience is a rare virtue. So, no (reasonable) patience, no lasting weddings. Wedding is a marathon race after all. Today most people are addicted to short sprints instead.

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    • Thats true but I'd also like to add that people wish their counterparts to change instead of trying to change themselves. I think this is the main cause of the divorce. Like you and other males here try to blame the women for the divorce, a lot of people just point out their counterparts' flaws before appreciating themselves. I know you didn't say only women but you are obviously thinking the women are more likely to cause the divorce. So people should try to look for their own flaws first

    • That you said about changing others instead of changing themselves is totally true. It's easier for one to see the others' hump than his own.
      The rest about blaming women it's simple statistics. In most western countries the majority of the "irreconcilable differences (ID)" divorces is asked by women (80% in some European countries). So, when I read ID for a divorce case, I understand lack of maturity. I can't believe that, in a western type democracy, two mature, educated people with an 8-10 years marriage in their back and a couple of kids they just can't work-out their (mild) incompatibilities by making small, mutual concessions. After all, they have lived together for so long; if ID existed, their relationship wouldn't have gone that far. And if they are being patient for ten years or so, why they can find ways to work the relationship for another ten? Love is like the fire I think; it always lights up under the right conditions.
      Someone show me a couple in-love at 100% for 40 years.

    • Oh okayy thanks for sharing the info and I agree with that couples should make more efforts on their relationship

  • i think yes and it´s because people do it too early on. i hear of so many people getting married, even though, they don´t even know each other for a year.

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  • with women leaving the marriage at around 80%, it's a pandemic, men are not being raised to be men as much as the past and women loose interest

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  • Not as high as it should be.

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    • No divorces are not supposed to happen

What Girls Said 5

  • The main cause of divorce is marriage (lol), But seriously people don't work through their problems anymore. If something bad happens, they end the marriage (throw it out) and move on. There is no loyalty and respect. When our grandparents got married it was a different time... a time when people fixed broken things, they didn't just throw them out. If two people can't be with each other through the worst they don't deserve each other at their best.

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  • YES! I THINK SO!

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  • Yes. But due to cheating, finding out the child isn't yours, bad relationships, no communication, and just no trust or love any more

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  • yes because a lot of people are sex crazed and they jump from one relationship to another
    people are too distracted for real love and they dont take it seriously anymore
    girls are too easy these days
    men are too hungry for sex

    and the lack of ideals and morals and all that...

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    • Really? If they just wanna have sex, why they marry? Why don't they play with random chicks? Doesn't make sense

    • Because you can't do kids with a random chick.

    • @oxynous oh I see

  • People marrying for the wrong reasons, or they're marrying younger and too quickly only to figure out they made a mistake doing so. Cheating could also be a likely reason.

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