Poured my heart out to my ex and he replied HELP please?

I basically poured my heart out to my ex boyfriend of 3 months (with the help of some alcohol) I told him I still cared for him and missed him and loved him. I don't regret it because I've been wanting to say it to him for so long. He replied wishing me a happy Christmas and basically told me he always thinks of our good times but he doesn't know if it could work when it didn't before. I replied back saying maybe we just needed some time apart and maybe we could work out because we both were going through tough times and it really influenced our relationship. He then replied this morning saying he doesn't know, that there's too many maybes and nights for him, what should I do? How should I reply? I really want him back and love him so much we had amazing relationship but we both had a lot of personal stuff going on within the last year of our relationship and it took a toll on us. Any advice would be amazing Thank you in advance


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It takes two people to have a relationship. It sounds like he doesn't want to be. Sometimes if you let things settle more you'll both find that you do love each other. It's an overused trope, but the "if you love something, let it go" story does work sometimes.

    If it's meant to be, it'll be. You can't force it. You can't make him love you.

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    • I know I can't but I do believe he still does. I really want him to realise but its been three months and I'm starting to loose hope

Most Helpful Girl

  • I really think you just have to let go. Why would you ever want to be with someone who hesitates and isn't sure about what they want? You deserve to be with someone who has no hesitations whatsoever and would never question being with you. He clearly doesn't want you enough to actually want to be in a relationship with you. Exes should stay exes and it almost never works out for anyone who tries to get back with an ex. All those problems you had before won't magically disappear when you've taken some time off from each other. Soon enough they will reappear and you'll be back at square one, and breaking up yet again being a topic of discussion. Let this guy go and move on. Learning how to move on is painful but also healthy, it makes you stronger and will help you in the future in similar situations. You need to be able to let go of people and things, otherwise you'll forever be stuck in the past and you will only start feeling shittier and shittier.

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    • Thank you for your reply. I know that I shouldn't wait around for him but I love him enough to fight for him and see if it could work out. I don't want to run back into a relationship because I believe we need to take things slow if we have we chance. I think he was suffering from depression and pushed me away I know he still cares about me and now he knows I still care for him. But do you think there is anything I could say to him so he's not scared to give us a chance?

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    • I know and he has fought for me before. I just really believe that we can be happy together again. I know it probably sounds stupid but I've never cared for someone this much in my life he was the only boyfriend of mine who I really completely fell in love with and still am after all these years. What should I reply to him?

    • Yes it does sound stupid, and you don't even realize that you're trying to fight for someone who doesn't even feel the same way about you. Why do that? Why waste your time? You're chasing the perfect ending to a happy story that doesn't exist. There is nothing you can say to him.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 4

  • Well, you already did your part by confessing your feelings for him.
    It seems as if he also cares for you, but is hesitant on whether he should move forward or not.
    I would request meeting up with him.
    Don't force the issue any more.
    Now it's clear he knows how you feel.
    Take things from there.
    Try to enjoy his company if he does accept your offer to meet.
    Start shifting the conversation into regular ones,
    "Hows your day?"
    "What are you plans?"
    "What did you get for Xmas?"
    etc. as a way to wheel him back in.
    Don't constantly keep asking to get back together with him, you will look desperate.
    Just play it cool.
    And take things day by day.
    He seems as if he was hurt by your relationship.
    Whether he chooses to move forward or keep things as if, solely lies on him.
    But as a woman, you know you did your part.

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    • ** as is , solely lies on him.

    • Ya I know I can't do any more he knows my feelings and that's all I can do unfortunately. I replied back a few hours later and apologised for sending the message and just said at least he knows how I feel now and just asked how his Christmas was but he hasn't responded which is a bit of a kick in the face. I really miss him so much

  • I'm really sorry to hear that he isn't willing to take you back. But I think you need to take a step back. It's terrible when someone we love so much does not love us back, but it sounds like he isn't willing to give it another shot, despite you pouring your heart out.

    What I recommend is trying to keep yourself busy so that you don't obsess over him. in my opinion if he isn't willing to try, then it's not worth trying to respond to him. You'd only be wasting your time.

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    • Thank you. I've been doing that the last 3+ months but unfortunatley I still can't get him out of mY head or miss/love him any less. Its really not getting any better I thought putting my feelings out there would help a bit but I guess not

  • It takes two. Never forget that.

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  • Usually when people breakup they come out of a relationship a different person to the person they were during the relationship. Sometimes it's the happy memories you cling to not the person. You are in love with the person he was when he was with you, he isn't that person now because it's obvious his feelings have changed towards you.

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    • He's clearly let go so you need to do the same. For your own sake. You need to move on with your life, if he's meant to be in it he'll catch up xx💖

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    • What do you recommend I reply to him saying so? His reply was along the lines of that he thinks about our memories and misses it too but there's too many maybes and mights for him.

    • Just tell him that you do too and that you are happy that you can both stay in touch regardless of what happens. Then change the subject to something less deep.

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