How can you go on without closure?

Eight month relationship with the sweetest guy you could imagine. Then just more and more distance - we didn't see each other in three weeks - because he was busy. And I understood that for awhile, but then I didn't understand anymore and felt like he was wanting to break up with me, so I broke up with him.

First thing I say is I don't want to lose you. And he says "you're not losing me"... so now I'm just confused but as I explain to him how much I'd missed him and how I thought he was wanting to end our relationship he ends up saying "I think you love me more than I love you." But still that's not an explanation. There's no real reason there. It's impossible to measure that. I know he doesn't owe me an explanation. Nobody needs to explain themselves if they don't want to be in a relationship then fine. But in the same way, I think it's really cruel to be left wondering what the hell happened. We were really sweet together.

Now it's been nine months since we broke up. I am miserable. I miss him so much. And I can't go back and beg for closure but I can't stand not knowing what went wrong. I don't know how to move on from this sadness, all I know is I want to hug him and hold him and be in his life again so badly... I can't get him out of my mind and I don't want to.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Cry. I do, not that it changes anything.

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    • If he's just not that into you then there's not much you can do. Just keep trying to accept that they aren't in your life, wish them the best in their life while moving on with yours.
      Zen saying "When your house burns down, you get a clear view of the sky"

Most Helpful Girl

  • The most painful goodbyes are the ones unexplained. It can prevent you from letting go. He should have at least given you a reasonable explanation , considering you were together for a while. Sometimes you learn more about a person at the end of a relationship than you do during the entire time together.

    Sometimes in life certain things aren't meant to be understood... just accepted. If he doesn't respect you enough to give you an explanation then respect yourself enough to let go. No matter hard hard that may be ❤🌹

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Dear, I understand how you feel. He is right, you love him more, you're more emotionally committed to your relationship with him, and perhaps he is not ready for it yet. The truth is, people do drift apart every now and then. Love is a balance, and when you care about him too much, it kind of tips the scale. Love like this can get obsessive. You have to understand that sometimes people can drift apart without a reason. You just don't feel the same with each other anymore. I'm sure you know best if it is worth pursuing this relationship. It takes two hands to clap, and you loving him alone is not enough.
    Best wishes x

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  • Talk to him

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  • Um... didn't you say that you broke up with him? Isn't that your answer right there? Because that is exactly what happened. Relationships ebb and flow. If you end them every time things cool off, they probably won't last very long. Maybe you could call him and ask for a second chance? That's not the same as begging for closure.

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