How do men deal with break ups?

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If the girl ended things?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Finding out that she cheated post breakup was an emotional roller coaster. Heartbreak turned to anger. I had insomnia for 6 months, and when I did sleep, I had nightmares. I burnt myself out keeping myself distracted by overworking myself. I ended up having to redo a year of my degree because of the mess that she caused. Then I fall for a girl that was genuine, but that ended in a mess for reasons that even I can't understand/comprehend which has left me devastated to be quite frank as she was a perfect match in a sea of incompatibility.

    Personally, I've been left feeling inadequate as a person even though I can be unbelievably nice and sweet at times, as well as being tall, and good looking with "beautiful eyes". But there are mitigating factors that have been involved which are hard to even get your head round as to why things didn't work out.

    I started a business after the first bad breakup which was a little over a year and a half ago whilst I'm still at Uni, which has had a few setbacks due to my emotional issues as she had accessed my social media profiles and used it to manipulate my emotions post breakup even though she had moved on, and following that, 6 months down the line, had access to a business account of mine with business and investor contacts as well as correspondents (the first girl had found out my passwords by taking note of them when ever I logged in to an account during the relationship... lessons learnt) At the moment, I'm trying to get back into becoming an elite athlete again which I was prior to both relationships. Retiring from my sport in question has left me a little flabby and I have no structure which does not help matters as I am finding it hard to get into any routine having been at an elite level where I was having to training twice a day, 6 days a week & told exactly what to do and eat by a team of coaches. (talk about silver platter)

    I've also taken up reading again as well as finally trying to learn my mother tongue as I had a number of difficulties growing up which resulted in not becoming bilingual when I should have. (not my parents fault, rather the education authorities multiple failures to recognise dyslexia, and understanding how children become bilingual.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not really sure, I'm sure men deal with it in different ways however i know my ex dealt with it poorly and he dealt with it through finding other chicks to feel better and pretending that the break up didn't happen-- staying quiet about how he feels basically hiding his feelings.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • For me its always an excuse to forget about social life and hit the gym/my basement. I just lift till ether I have to work and shower or pass out shivering lol. Basically anything to keep my mind off of my ex. End result is mostly gaining muscle mass and being able to fully move on. Nothing kills old feelings like a 2-4 hour workout when the only thing that matters is water, food, and sleep.

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  • We don't deal with them well. A lot of people won't know that though because it's not "acceptable" for a man to show emotions or be sad. I was broke up with about a month ago and most of my friends said "f*** her, you met her in a bar and it was only 7 months". They are good guys, but that's what we are programmed to think. I have been miserable. Dropped 25 lbs and still don't really have an appetite. Sit in my house most days watching tv and thinking about her. Men take longer to get over a break up. It's a lot easier for women to find guys. You have 2-3 hit on you every time you go out.

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    • Wow man no, you are strong and can get through this. Stand up and realize that there is someone out there for you okay? :)

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    • @kaminalove I don't know if "great" is the word I would use. More like "making it through". Still think about her every single day. She's not coming back though.

    • Its goos that you have accepted it, its a big step. Be patient with yourself and you will be able to get through this.

  • I have read that men take breakups harder than women, and it makes sense as men tend to hide their emotions and try not to cry around other men. It usually ends up being a period of a few months of ups and downs, burying myself in work. Crying some nights, angry others. Then when you think you are over it, realizing you aren't

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  • I saw an article not long ago that said that men actually take the end of a relationship harder than women. Whether that's true or not I don't know, 'cause I know it's hard for everybody. In my own case, I've had some really painful times after a relationship ended.

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  • Probably not the most healthy answer but here's my process:

    1. I usually get tore down drunk. Maybe even a few times; just kind of get bent and wallow on it for a minute. Listen to heavy somewhat down music (think Alice in Chains) while taking shots of tequila and Facebook stalking to try and find the real time/reason why things failed. Stupid & pointless, yes, but I do it.

    2. Stop getting sloppy and go 110% "me" focused. Haven't hit the gym in a while; fluff it I'll go every day. Day off; forget cleaning the house or working I'll go to the beach. Maybe take a class or two and bump up my certification game on the resume. Anything to better me or make me happy I'm doing it.

    3. Sever all ties with the ex. Well... not all ties. Like I won't block you on my phone/Facebook/whatever (unless you cheated or did some serious shady stuff) but I will just go full on radio silence.
    --You: Text and say "Hey just wanted to check how you are doing"
    --Me: Text reply: "I'm good"
    --You: "Ok just wanting to make sure"
    --Me: "Yup"
    --That's it. Done. Over

    4. That's really it. Just stay in "me" mode and filter out all the noise until time passes and the pain of the break up dies down.

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  • The last time I had a girl end it, I went on a long motorcycle ride at high speeds on the freeway, I had Blue Octobers "the Answers" in my headset and just screamed along.
    "Just pick your head up boy, and walk away
    "Walk the coolest walk that you know
    "and in a month or two she'll call you
    "hang up the phone"

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  • I like some time on my own! I like to go kayaking or perhaps hiking and camping on my own so I can wrap my head around things.

    Once I get some time alone to think and not have any outside influences and get back to the basic, then I start feeling better!

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  • I usually distract myself by whatever means necessary to forget about her and move on with my life. Break ups is never really that easy unless you're used to it, but it is what it is and all you can really do is move on

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  • hobbies, friends and new people

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  • I dealt with it by reinstalling my drug, drink and sex addictions. 10 months later I'm out the other side clean.

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  • We suck at breakups.

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  • Just move on , sorrow won't help in anything so just forget it and carry on my way

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  • We remember for years.

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  • Really badly

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  • where anger and wanna hurt you

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  • This is one of the things you are not supposed to know.

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  • All of my relationships have ended bad. Basically there is a lot of crying, reaching put to friends and family, and pets for emotional support. Then trying to deal and move on with your life. Doing things you enjoy, talking to thise close when it hurts.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I broke this weird friendship/relationship.

    Well I don't know, he blocked me on social media then avoided me at work. I think that they don't handle it well... I give him the silence he deserves. I don't understand women who keep on contacting them after hurting them? wtf.

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  • Same way! They cry in private and mop around about a girl! This can go for years!~

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  • Badly, my ex stalked me, he couldn't stand that I took back the power

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