Can Cheating be essential?

I just realized that cheating on your spouse is essential in certain circumstances. It gives them a way out if they want to leave you. If not they will do anything and everything to push your buttons so you yell and they will call you an abuser.. fake injuries, fake suicide, etc. I can't believe this shit. She cheated and I called her out on it then she tried everything to get me to hit her and now I know why... I should have read this stuff 5years ago. What do I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • essential? are u freaking kidding me?
    no from the start u should have realised she was pushing ur buttons and dealt with it then. u didn't need to yell, u didn't need to take any further action. don't blame someone else or dare to justify cheating because of the fact that you didn't end it when u should have.

    clearly it wasn't healthy and it was dragged out for much too long. this is simply a lesson you are learning the hard way, so i will NEVER say that cheating is acceptable or essential under any circumstances.

    • Your right its the hard way.. really hard. Too hard. Your right its not essential. I just want to fix it but I can't. I can't fix it.

    • why do u feel you want to fix it? that's the question there. you must decide whether you are afraid of losing her because u still love her, or if you don't want to end up alone.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry you have such opinions about all woman a relationships. I can tell you that 90% of my High School Friends, only 1 divorce out of 20 friends, girls they met in college. I have three sisters, all married with kids...
    I've screwed up my relationships, not them...
    What are you doing? Looking for girls in bars?
    Dating hair stylists or traveling attorneys?
    You need (1) a different game and (2) a different attitude and your whole perspective on woman will change
    If you want a good woman, look at her relationship with her family, are they still close or not talking? Look for evidence she doesn't run away from problems. Look for evidence she doesn't always take the easy option. Look to see how many roommates she hates from her past. There are so many red flag, if you get pissy whipped with red flags everywhere, it's not there fault is it?

    • I said in certain circumstances. I have been married for over a decade to my wife she was 18 I was 19. When we got married. Its bullshit when she plays Earl had to die to me and had her fuckbuddies record me getting pissed off because she knows all my buttons.

    • Show All
    • What happens if its been over ten years? She basically says she has so much dirt on me I deserve to be dead and she sometimes says I should kill myself and she would not want a divorce because the courts would tell her how to raise our kids... she has said she wants me dead. I don't know if its just part of her or all of her. I don't know if she loves me sometimes or wants me gone all the time and tries to convince me how much of a worthless p. o. s. I am.

    • @damonson86 I was in a ten year relationship and when I left I would physically throw up and pass out for two days. I was living overseas and I was sedated to get on that plane home. We both didn't really want to separate but had to under the circumstances and what you need to know is people adapt and not everyone is meant to be together, you sticking around is making it worse and you should do what is the best interest of the family. I know it's hard to look at the history and investment but you have kids and a father now and this happens to over half of all relationships, it's obvious it won't work out. It appears she believes you are there just to restrict her freedom and she resents you for it. The quicker you can give each other room the better you will be and clinging onto her is not going to make her see the light, only the dark. Maybe things will go back but you both need breathing room

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What Girls Said 2

  • There's a thing called just leaving. It's completely possible to do. Cheating is never really justified.

  • Leave her, stop contact her. Also inform the police just before hand just in case she tries to fake something and report you for nothing.

    • . I'm pretty sure she convinced everyone I'm the devil. I used to get in trouble when I was younger before I met her. She has a good record. Plus we used to yell at each other. I know why she did soo many of the things she did now.

    • She's friends with the police

    • Have someone with you 24/7 as an alibi & take photos with them even once in a while to prove you where no where near her

What Guys Said 2

  • "It gives them a way out if they want to leave you." They could just say they are unhappy and leave,

    "If not they will do anything and everything to push your buttons so you yell and they will call you an abuser.. fake injuries, fake suicide, etc." On what planet does this happen?

    "She cheated and I called her out on it then she tried everything to get me to hit her and now I know why." She wanted to feel justified in leaving you.

    "What do I do?" Leave her ass! Why would you want to be with a girl who cheated on you?

  • No way. Cheating is not essential, this is not a way to get someone to leave you and even if you think it is then it is a very immature thinking, only people who are weak will come up with this thinking, those who are weak will not have the strength to stand up and speak in words to the other person that they are not interested in the relationship anymore. You don't have to even think about cheating on your spouse to get them to leave you, that's sounds so stupid if you think logically.

    Yes she is trying to test you, she is trying to make you angry so don't give in to her mind games, silly mind games. Just ignore her, or you may approach the authorities if it gets out of hand.


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