I'm not in love with my husband anymore?

We have been married for almost a year and I'm not in love with him I feel like I made a mistake but we have everything we want we are stable have nice stuff. He's funny and it's nice talking to him and everything but I'm not attracted to him to were I just want to have sex with him at random I honestly don't know what to do. It's hard to think of just getting a divorce then what do we do with what we buil like our home and stuff and he's deep in love. I told him how I felt and he just keeps saying to work it out and things like well we are allready married so we are going to work it out but it's not working for me and j spoke to him about it twice

Updates:
Ok so I'm not just a taker or whatever's have a full time job and can pay all of my bills on my own I'm not using him his health declined because he let and he's continuing to go down the wrong path of cigarettes and bad weight health issues and isn't even trying anymore at work I have been here motivated and done everything to keep his head up and get him on the right path and he just gave up I am going to go to a marriage counselor tho

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Book an appointment with a marriage counselor tomorrow. He/she will have the training and experience to be able to help you understand the situation you are in, and make the best decision. There are ideas that you may not be considering that they may suggest, to help you get clear on this, like a "trial separation." Its good you reached out here for help, but this forum won't be able to give you the help you need to make the right decision. Good luck.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • sounds like another case of a girl who got married out of convenience and security to a guy who she wasn't really that attracted to.

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    • Exactly!!

    • I'm very capable of paying my bills on my own I have a job this isn't a sugar daddy situation

  • Well that's sad but if you are no longer happy, you longer in love with him then the best choice is to leave the relationship, or you can stay and keep trying endlessly the final decision is yours.

    I can understand it's not a easy decision to make.

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  • When you say that you're not in love with him anymore, are you just talking about no longer having that "butterflies in the stomach" feeling or do you literally have no love for him at all?

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    • I have love for him and want him happy but like he drives over the rode and it's like I missed him then the second he got back it was just like can you leave now then I stopped missing him

  • Well I don't blame you cause you married too young... It's not the age to marry someone... So if it's not working out for you... Then you should get a divorce..

    Yes it's going to hurt him cause he is in love with you but then thats life...

    And can I ask you are what exact age did you get married?

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  • I don't understand why people even get married if they want a divorce eventually... seems like getting married is something they have to tick in their to do list

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  • you don't want commitment cause it takes work

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  • You got married too young my dear

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  • This is so sad...

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  • That is a normal part of being married. I don't think you understand what marriage is suppose to be. Marriage is not suppose to be about being in love all the time. It is impossible to remain in a constant state of being "in love". Love is not what you feel. Love is what you do. If you take care of each other then you love each other no matter how you feel about them. If you don't take each other then you don't love them, no matter how much "in love" you think you are with them.

    Marriage is suppose to be a partnership to make our lives a little easier in this cruel world. That partnership is based on trust, respect, compatibility, and a mutual need for each other. If you want to get married because you have some Hollywood fantasy of marriage being based on love, then your marriage will almost certainly fail.

    If you want a relationship based on feeling "in love" then I suggest serial monogamy, as opposed to marriage.

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    • Exactly. Too many people mistake love for infatuation and have this false belief that if you no longer get those funny feelings in your stomach when you're with your SO, you're no longer in love with them and the relationship is doomed because supposedly real relationships make you have those feelings 24/7. It's so stupid.

  • Well... that sucks. Life is short; if you're not happy better get moving on finding someone that makes you happy. Or just focus on you for a while. Truth be told marriage is kind of overrated. I love my wife significantly but the concept of marriage and being in a formal "committed" relationship just seems kind of silly. I'd have been just fine dating her forever.

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  • shouldna got married at such a young age then dummy

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  • Its normal. Just divorce

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What Girls Said 16

  • That's pretty hasty for a death do us part commitment. Not trying to sound ugly but it seems pretty selfish.

    Spouses should wake up everyday and do what ever they can to make the other persons life a little better. I think you should look a little deeper inwardly.

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  • FIrst thing I did was check your age.
    The emotional sectors in the human brain do not stop developing until until age 25. This means that have not yet become who you are meant to be, until age 25. This in turn means that you will continue to change until age 25.
    What you need will change. What you want will change. What you like will change.
    One of you has changed, and you're not the same people you married anymore; you're not the same people you fell in love with anymore.
    Move on, divorce. There's nothing wrong with this, welcome to being a human adult. Don't stick around if you're not happy; it will bleed through, and you may grow to resent him for something that he cannot control.

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  • If you start doing things you used to do when you first
    met you may relise why you loved him to begin with ,

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  • You make us young wives look bad lol Anyway, have you tried talking to a marriage counselor? I know we were recommended many when we first got married. Feelings change, but what makes you positive you no longer love your husband? Sometimes, marriage isn't the best direction for a couple.

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  • You married WAY too young and are clearly more interested in the material aspects of it. You really need to look at yourself and decide if you want to give to this relationship or are just a taker.

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  • Have YOU tried anything? Make situations. Don't just expect him to be the one trying.

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  • Look marriage is hard its not a game that you just want to quite on the next level. I mean you must have love him so much in the first place to want to married him, right. But it look like he is trying and your giving up already. Remember your vows its not like he's a bad guy, you have everything. But if your so stuck on divorcing the poor fellow then go ahead give him a chance at happiness with someone who will love him more then you could.

    But remember this:

    "You don't know what you got until you lost it".

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  • are you pregnant? sometimes, it's all about the hormone

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    • Really? That's interesting, a girl might have her feelings towards her husband because of pregnancy?

    • yes, it happens. my mum almost divorced with my dad while she's pregnant with my little sister. some of my friends too, because they're being too sensitive over everything... that's why i asked

  • WORK IT OUT!

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  • I guess if you aren't happy you should end it, it sounds like your husband isn't really willing to discuss it with you in any meaningful way, but it takes two to work it out. Just be sure you can walk away with no regrets

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  • do you have another place to live if u split? it'd be silly to divorce and then have to stay with him if you're both on the same lease.

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  • Had u two had sex before marriage?

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  • I love sex I have the same problem

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  • Were you on birth control prior to marriage? Too many women don't know, but that shit can seriously mess up your attraction patterns.

    Also, are you turned off of just neutral? Sometimes stress or life changes can effect the female sex drive. If you're more neutral, start having sessions where there is a lot of what turns you on. Kidding and rubbing and oral, etc. Orgasms can do wonders for creating and sustaining desire.

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  • do whatever but regrets

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  • This is why you don't get married when you're 18-24.

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