Guys, what is it that makes you see a girl as a potential girlfriend?

What are the little things that she does that make you see her as someone worth pursuing and as good girlfriend material? What are the characteristics and what are the things she does that make you see those characteristics in her or not?

I ask this because I want to know if I'm portraying what I want to a guy I'm interested in, and if I'm not then how I could show him through the little things I do or say that as a girlfriend I'm nurturing and calm but also passionate and sexy.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi there Londongirl,

    Well what Gintrovert says is partially true, but you can still increase your chances if you know what guys want.

    To be fair, most guys are looking for girls with the following qualities: funny, geeky, sexy, physically attractive, kind, gentle, easy to get on with etc etc - basically somebody to have fun with, shares life with them and makes them happy. For potential girlfriend material (or wife material for some) its a mixture of all these plus a few more, like being able to cook, able to have her own opinions, able to make her own decisions (when you are not around) and act not so clingy or girly like (ie. call at a worst time when we are busy at work or throw tantrums for no apparent reason etc). We want someone who is concerned about us, thinks about us and also who is thoughtful and not likely to get themselves (or us) into an argument.

    Some of us who are more mature, would want someone we could connect with on a deeper level (if we are more spiritually orientated say) who shares similar values to our beliefs or family traditions, that we could call a 'soul mate'. For the more pickier types among us, there are those who look for (in a girl) her financial, career or family background status, and whether her background is compatible with ours, and whether she is able to bear children (or want to have children). This obviously varies between family to family and partner to partner. But it suffices to say most guys would like their girls parents to be there too at the wedding if they ever get married. This is apparently quite a critical issue in Asian societies (where the parents do have an influence over their child's future marital happiness) learning to get along with the future in-laws is quite an important asset to some!

    As for attracting the opposite sex, dress sense is very important and knowing how to dress is also important. Guys (most that I know anyway) don't like frumpiness or girls that just simply don't look cool. Dressing smartly and confidently goes a long way to attracting the guy you want.

    As for attitudes, its important to the guy that you exhibit confidence about yourself but also don't go around flirting with other men if you have a partner already - this is very important. There are some girls who have partners, who thinking that its cool to meet some other guy or the ex-bf who says hi to them at the friends party say, goes to have a talk with them in full length, all the while knowing the boyfriend is in the other room waiting. Unless you and the boyfriend know the other person well enough, to the guy you're with, this is a sign that you are flirting with the opposite sex, and its a sign of disrespect to him if you do this as you're dating - so try to avoid this at all costs if you don't want a potential argument/breakup.

    Another point that's important, apart from being yourself and enjoying the company of your partner, is also being able to contribute financially to the partnership, in an equal setting.


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What Guys Said 2

  • (cont.)

    This is especially important, particularly in long distance relationships where one flies off to see the other. If you are going yourself to meet somebody half way around the world for example, you do not expect him to pay for your plane ticket and vice versa. If there are places you want to go or things you want to do that involve money but you have financial issues, it is better to talk about them first with your partner before doing them. It would go a long way in the relationship if both can contribute equally.

    Regarding everything else, unless you are both ready to get engaged, most guys do not really want to know about the in-laws or what is happening with them, or past relationship issues you've had with exs. Any issues you have with your family, don't bring them into the relationship until you are absolutely clear or you know there are issues with them that are likely to affect your relationship with him. Most guys I know don't want to be bothered with that...they simply just want to enjoy your company during the time you are with them, and being with you.

    Above all, just try to be yourself, and be honest with your feelings about everything, including him. If there's something you feel uncomfortable about, tell him honestly about it and don't hide from it. Having such an open attitude helps to build trust between the two of you, and likely to strengthen the relationship. But its also because guys do not like to think or guess what girls are doing (most of the time). We hate having to second-guess what you are doing or are planning to do, and it drives us nuts.

    That's all I can offer you at the moment. Best of luck in finding your guy!

  • You won't find something that will fit every guy universally... If a guy finds you attractive, and likes your personality, then he will see you as girlfriend material...

    Guys are constantly told how girls hate to be hit on by guys they don't like... no guy wants to be that guy.. so what is the likely outcome... 99% of guys will not try anything unless she shows some interest in him (if he likes her)


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