Why did he leave?

I dated this guy for 3 months - which I know is not a long time. We were both single the last 2 years; both our last relationships we were living with other people who cheated on us. At the beginning this guy was totally in to me. He was so in to me he said he wanted to put off having sex because he didn't want to make it all about that. Obviously, we ended up having sex eventually. He met my friends, we went out, spoke on a daily basis, told his mom about me, told his co-workers about me. He said he almost told me he loved me once, and asked how long he would have to date me before we could make it official.

Eventually, this guy disappeared from thin air. When I tried to get ahold of him to see what was up - he said he was going through a hard time and the only way he knew how to cope was through isolation. We had a deep talk about depression before and I tried to be as supportive as I could. We started seeing each other again, but he wasn't the same. It kind of faded. He talked to me less and less and then again cut me off for no reason. When I was just about to assume that it was because he was depressed again, I noticed he reactivated his online dating account.

I don't get it? My friends say (and obviously they're biased), that he did like me but he knew he messed up so much by cutting me off 3 times for no reason already - and so he knew he couldn't clean up his mess and so he tried to move on?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 1

  • Dating someone with depression is very emotionally taxing. I dated a guy for 4 months who had it. In the beginning he was fine, but once he knew he could be open with me, then he showed his depression more openly. You have to be very patient. Really let him know that you forgive him for being distant and tell him you are there for him. If he's still pushing you away, then he may not be emotionally ready to have a relationship. Remember, you have to realize that it is a HUGE commitment to date someone with depression. You have to be ready to be there for him no matter what. Whatever you do, try not to get upset, because people with depression hate the feeling of making someone upset, and in turn, they will become more depressed. Hope this helps.

    • Thanks! I know... I was really supportive.. so when he bailed again, I thought it was another depressive spell... but then I saw he went back to online dating? So basically, he kind of just started talking to other people without telling me?

    • People with depression aren't very confident in themselves. If they get even the slightest hint that they messed up with someone, they will try to move on. I would confront him with that, but very gently. Somewhere along the lines of wanting to be there for him, and wondering if he was willing to give it another go.

Loading... ;