Boyfriend just blindsided me and broke up with me? Long story of what happened?

My now ex boyfriend of eight months has depression and is going through a lot with school/work and is stressed a lot. He doesn't seem to have good coping skills (he admits it) and things build up and he runs away. We'd been fighting a lot off and on (not terrible fights, but they were every couple days). Yesterday he went over to a friend's house and was supposed to come home around 1 or 2 am. He texted me saying that he'd had too many beers and was just going to crash there and would be home around noon. We were supposed to go out today and have a nice dinner and have fun (he was still saying he wanted to go right before he went to bed at his friend's). Well he gets home at noon, comes in and puts my dog in the kennel and tells me that he brought the guys over to meet me (he'd tried to introduce me before but the timing wasn't right). So they come in and I walk out and immediately something seems weird. None of them are looking at me and I say, "Hi!" but no one answers and I notice boxes. My boyfriend then says, "These are my best friends... I've known these guys for years and they're my rock." He paused and then said, "And the reason we have all of these boxes here is because you're out of here.. we're done. This is done." I was completely shocked and couldn't understand what was happening. I asked him to talk in private and at first he resisted, but then agreed. We went into the bedroom and he literally set a timer of 5 minutes. We talked and he says he has too much going on, we're too different and that in general, he's not happy with us. He claims it's not me but "us".
He says he's happy sometimes but not as much as he should be and that he brought his friends because he knows he'd not stay strong about breaking up otherwise. Here's the part where it starts getting weird: he filmed us when we were talking in private to show that things had ended "amicably".

We'd had a couple of a couple day breakups and he never did any of that stuff or had brought his friends over. He was also acting totally weird and I'm getting a vibe like there was something else. It seemed like he was angry but trying to act normal. This might tie in: there was a weird woman texting both him and me yesterday saying she wanted to see him again and telling me that he was cheating on me with her.
We both thought it was this 45 year old lady who lives across the street that has a crush on him. When he got back from his friend's house, he admitted (after me asking a bunch of times) that he was suspicious it was me. The whole filming me while we were talking privately and having his friends there makes me feel like he thinks I'm crazy. He claimed the friends were there to enforce that we actually broke up and because it was hard for him and needed support.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Lose him. He sounds like a fuckwit. You are better without him

    • I should add (this isn't specifically for you; just additional info) since it won't let me update anymore that just a couple of days ago he was saying he really, really loved me and that breaking up with me before was a mistake and that he wasn't going to let it happen again.
      Also, when I asked him if he thought i was the girl texting him, he said he it didn't matter and claimed it only played a small role in the breakup. I don't believe him because everything was fine before he went to his friend's for the night. He admitted that they said it could possibly be me texting him. This was all very sudden and I'm very shocked. He just told me yesterday that he thought we'd still be together months from now and we'd just laugh about the whole weird person texting us thing... And then he dumped me. he's 26 and I'm 22 by the way

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    • (sorry! keep thinking of things to add haha) He always told me that if he any inclination that I was being shady or something, I'd be gone immediately... That's why I feel like he's thinking something along those lines besides the fact of having his friends there and filming me..

    • Consider yourself lucky to have him out of your life

Most Helpful Girl

  • Either his friends are involved or someone else.

    The fact he was there with a group reeks of a coward.

    If I were you I would turn on your heel and never see that pussy again. He didn't have the balls to speak to you and made it petty as "literally 5 minutes". No man like that deserves your time.

    Take your stuff, give him two fingers and tell him he can talk to you where the sun don't shine. He might have said your done but you are darn well gonna show him your done. Send back every little thing he sent you - no message until the last one with just "now we're done"

    • Do you mean involved as in they encouraged it? Because that's totally what I was thinking too. Did you read my comment updates on the other answers?

    • You. Sounds like his friends swanned in at the first chance of trouble.
      I would show him the behind. He didn't have the balls to do it himself.

      I learnt the hard way - my ex broke up with over text but my current boyfriend always has the balls to tell me when he has done something. This jackass sounds a bigger pussy than my ex.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Holy shit give me some cliff notes OP


What Girls Said 2

  • You are better than me. I would've went ape shit. How dare he bring his friends into y'all private altercations. He didn't need them to come in and witness the two of you fighting they could've waited outside. He didn't need them to enforce anything! And he sounds stupid as hell to think you'd text him portraying to be a 45 year old lady that likes him and texts him about seeing him again or how he's cheating on you with her. I understand he's going through a lot right now but he didn't have to throw you under the bus like that. I felt him acting amicable was him being sarcastic. He's a dick head guy and you don't need him. I'd take my things... Think it over and focus on myself. You will grieve and be sad but its a process into finding something or someone better. Cheer you hunny. I hope I could help in some way 😊

    • I feel like he's convinced that I did something weird/screwed him over it some way. We've had problems that has led to two very short break ups, but something was different this time. He was acting weird and angry and didn't want to be alone with me or talk/explain anything. Also because my car was in the shop, I asked if he'd drop me off at a friend's since most of my friends were at work and instead he paid $80 for a taxi...

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    • Thank you :) that made me feel a little better

    • I'm glad to have helped hunny. If you ever need a friend I'm always here. Just message me 😊

  • This is more than weird. I don't even know what to think of this situation. Honestly the man seems to have lost it and girl I would stay far away from that. I know you probably loved him and you may not understand why this happened or why he acted in such a weird manner, but sometimes it's better to not know. He should have respected you enough to talk to you and break up with you in private. He sprung it on you and that is appalling. Video taping the breakup? And his friends being there? Sounds like something weird was going down.

    • I'm getting the vibe that for whatever reason (I have a feeling his friends are involved because suddenly he acted this way after spending the night there and he said they offered to come with him) he's mad/thinks I screwed him over. He doesn't even want to be friends like before