Fess up or keep it quiet and stop? Help!

Back story: I'm single, but love a girl two states away. We're not dating but had a mutual agreement that we wouldn't be with anyone else until we were together (little more than a year). Well, I made FWB with my ex and kind of did everything but sex... My first time for many things besides kissing...

I want to save it for the girl I love. And I do love her, we've "been together" for 5 months. And I feel horrible keeping this from her (it happened last week), even though we're not officially together, I don't want another guy touching her, and I am pretty damn sure she doesn't want another girl touching me. I can't put into words how she makes me feel, and the thought of loosing her hurts, a lot. I think of her every morning when I wake up, and every night as I go to bed. I talk to her daily, I want her in my life forever.


What do I do? Do I tell her what I did and hope she forgives me, or do I keep it quiet and stop, or quiet and continue. Vote if you don't feel like typing.

I know I should stop, I wasn't thinking about "us" I was thinking about me, and I realized the actions that I take as a kid can really f*** up our future. I want this girl in my life and don't want to lose her ever. I know there are other girls out there, but I don't want another girl.

Please give me an outside opinion on this.


Best Regards,


  • Fess up, tell her.
    Vote A
  • Keep it quiet, stop.
    Vote B
  • Keep it quiet, continue.
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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It happens to be her time of the month, says she started yesterday, so should I wait till her hormones are back to normal, or should I tell her now? I'm hesitant to tell now because you gals have ups and downs. Not to blame you or make excuses.


Most Helpful Girl

  • The best thing that you can do is tell her the TRUTH. Otherwise your always going to have it in the back of your mind. Also if she finds out some other way it'll just make the situation worse. So tell her how you feel about her and be completely honest. So if your meant to be together you'll work it out and she'll forgive you. If not, at least you tried and laid it all out there. Even if she may not show it, us girls always want the truth no matter how bad it may hurt. But that's my opinion. It's always better to tell the truth!


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What Girls Said 2

  • Yeah it's true, we do sometimes go through our ups and downs then. But it shouldn't matter too much, she's still her. Just make sure that when you tell her its at the right time and she's completely calm and at ease. Don't spring it upon her if she seems like she's having a bad day.

    • Today was a bad day it looks like :/ Ugh, tomorrow is busy, till 6pm-ish, would it be good to tell her at night? I'm just going to call her and tell her I have to tell her something and tell her to sit down and tell her how I feel.

    • Show All
    • She is 2 states away, so the most "personal" thing would be a phone conversation as most chat is through FB or texting. How would I start it then?

    • Well you could have a video chat on msn or something like that where you can see each other and talk. I'm wondering when are you guys going to be able to see each other? Cause then you have to ask yourself where this relationship is going. If you guys never get the chance to see each other how can your relationship grow? But I don't know your situation so it's hard for me to tell. In the end it's your decision. So tell her what happened and see where it goes from there. Good luck!

  • You've put yourself in this situation. It's up to you to get out of it. How do you do that? By telling her. If you don't tell her and stop, she will find out anyway. If you don't tell her and continue, you'd just be making it worse, and she will find out anyway. If you tell her (and stop obviously), she can make a decision on her own whether or not she wants to stay with you. That's fair for her and you. Why would she want to be with someone anyway who lies about being with someone else? You'd just be living a lie. You should definitely tell her...


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