Paranoid about my ex boyfriend?

Okay so I am completely paranoid about seeing my ex with someone new. He abandoned me and our son so of course it would hurt to see him w. someone new. BUT I am always seeing men that look like him with a girl.And I need to check and see if they truly are him just so my anxiety goes away.

Has this happened to anyone else? did you find out that it really was ur ex with someone new?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not trying to offend you, but why have the anxiety in the first place? If you caught him with "someone new" it would probably only stress you out more, making you angry at him for moving on, etc - which is rightfully so, the dude abandoned you and his kid.

    He doesn't sound like a responsible adult, he sounds like an immature child that needs to grow up. So many guys run from their responsibilites, what is there to run from?!

    Life is more important than money. You will have the best smiles of your whole life, or the worst headaches, from your child. Life is spontaneous, those that can withhold that type of lifestyle will live well; however, those that succumb like the rest, only prove that their not a leader, and that they aren't worth pursueing.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • Lol. I'm not trying to have the anxiety. and I try to stop it but it only stops when I see that it wasn't him. And I know that if I do see him with someone knew that its gonna stress me out more but I feel like I need to know to help get over him. or to see that he still cares.


    • Show All
    • It sounds like he is interested in being there with the kid together; but that he isn't interested in dating. My best guess would say that there is a past history that he didn't like. If you start interacting with him on a "friends" level but you're playful with things, AND he is single- eventually he will warm back up to you. When that happens he will probably think things are permanently "friends" status, so you will need to ask him out. There is always a little love left for an ex, -continued

    • Unless the situation permits otherwise- for instance: cheating, threats, drama, etc <-- these things don't seem to change over time and can usually end a relationship abrubtly with leaving little or no feelings behind for the person that commits those behaviors. At this point, I would advise that you focus on preventing these feelings of searching him out because it seems like you're waiting to make a reaction, rather than being proactive. Control the situation- ;) you know how to do that ^_^

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I feel that way all I can think about is him with someone eles. My ex from two years ago I did see him with a new girl it was the worst feeling but I kept hoping we would get back together after I saw him with her I knew it was over. But it did make it easier to move on. I got over him and fell in love again. Only to have my heart broken again LOL I wish you the best and I hope you heal quickly.

    • Im like you too. Waiting and hoping for him to come back, but my logical side wants to"catch him" with another girl to somehow prove to myself that its truly over. I know its gonna kill me when the time comes, but I need it. its been 9mos and I still love him. :(

    • For me I don't get over them until I fall in love again maybe you should try dating other men. 9 months is a long time. It's time for you do have some fun.

  • My situation is kind of similar... Though my ex was very abusive towards me. And when our son was about 4months old he started being abusive to him as well, so I had to leave. All the while I was always upset thinking he would be with someone new and treat her the way I should have been treated and so on. I always wanted to know what he was doing and who he was with. I know this may sound stupid considering the circumstances given here, but I didn't think it was fair that he go on like nothing ever happened and here my life is forever changed. All in all, it didn't stop bothering me until I met someone new and realized how true love really is, and that we didn't have anything close to that, or course I loved him, but not in the way that I love my current love. It has changed the way I feel about him completely.

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