So about a month and a half ago, my 1st girlfriend ever broke up with me saying that it was her not me kinda answer, now obviously i was devasted but i committed to her decision and tried my absolute best not to breakdown (privately). So fast forward to now and im still hurting, i am still committed to her decision as she hasn't even tried even talking to me even once ( i dont really expect her to) but i have tried some casual small talk from time to time just to show that i still care. But i want to move on so badly.. i dont want to care about someone who doesn't care about me, you know.. Like it hurts a lot and sometimes i dont even understand myself and why i have these feelings. I just need advise on how to get over her cause right now i think i just miss the idea of her.
Please don't just say "just get over her"as its not that simple as that as i am trying my best.
Anything would help
Most Helpful Girl
when my first boyfriend broke up with me, i was devastated too.
it was a james dean relationship that died too young and beautiful. and yes, he cheated on me (with my roommate, no less), but what really bothered me was that i had trusted him.
combined with residual abandonment issues from my parents' divorce (i was 8, old enough to know what was happening but not the "why"), i always shied away from relationships because i just assumed that the other person would leave, so actually letting someone through was big for me... and the betrayal was monumental.
after that, i decided that i would never let someone close enough to hurt me. over the next 10 years, i had relationships, but i was never fully open with anyone, ever again~ when i met my boyfriend now, he didn't push me to be open with him; he simply said that he understood and that he was there if i needed someone, that he would work to earn my trust. and, over time, he has.
you'll never forget your first love, and the pain of losing that person. so let it hurt~ cry it out; grief doesn't have a timeline.
in the meantime, surround yourself with good friends and things that make you happy~ play a sport, ride, your bike, listen to music... and, if you need to talk to someone, do it.
love & light always :)
Most Helpful Guy
It's not a matter of time, but a mental thing. What you do to accelerate the process is find things you love that gets you excited.
It doesn't have to be another girlfriend (that kind of rebound strategy when you're still not over someone can actually make it worse and open up the wounds all over again).
It's kind of girly but you might even get a "makeover", kind of shop for new clothes. It might kind of give you a new level of confidence, make you walk taller, instead of slumping and moping about all day. It helps if you can feel like a new person, kind of reborn, if it's a really bad heartbreak.
You might do things you always wanted to try, hit the gym, develop a new hobby, etc.
You'll be healed when you're alone in a room somewhere and not just obsessing about her, but excited to do something else later that day/week/month/year.0