Feel like I'll never have a good relationship again?

My boyfriend of almost a year broke up with me two days ago VERY unexpectedly. He says he loves me still but he's not happy and we're too different and wouldn't mix well long term. I asked why he was unhappy and he said he couldn't really explain it, that we're just too different. He said I'll make some guy really happy but it won't be him.
I don't know why he wasn't happy. I cooked all the time, we had sex all the time (he said the sex was phenomenal), gave him oral a lot, supported him through his depression, we went out and had fun all the time, etc. He even said I'm a great girlfriend. I just feel like since I tried to do everything right with him and he still wasn't happy (he said he was happy sometimes but not as much as he should be) that no guy will ever be happy with me. Im 21 and he's 25


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What Guys Said 1

  • Unfortunately love doesn't always reward hard work. It should, but there's no judge to see that a fair game is played. The game ends when one of you lose interest.

    Counter-intuitively, if only one person in the relationship is really working hard to please the other, the other might lose interest partially on that account, and seek someone who kind of balances give and take. A sense of independence is often attractive, and someone who's kind of selfish can be attractive if they're not completely selfish.

    That said, this doesn't say anything about you. It's easy to take these as a major blow to your self-esteem, to think you are unattractive, but look at celebrity relationships. They can fizzle out the same way, even between two very attractive people. And later those same two people who went separate paths might both found someone else with whom they're extremely compatible, fall in love, stay in love, and get married.

    So you shouldn't see this as like the end of the world. It's so easy to see it that way, especially if you miss him a lot. But the world is filled with billions of people, endless chances to find the right one, if you just put yourself out there.

    This is also "you" time right now. You can get a makeover, do something you always wanted to do, make new friends who might expose you to new interests and activities (as well as new people -- this cascades if you actively pursue people to meet), etc. And doing that, and getting excited with that again, will really speed up the healing process, and in doing so, actually help make you more attractive and confident again.


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