Guys, is it possible to NEVER commit? What does he mean by this?

Ex of 6 years broke up with me because "he wasn't happy". It's been a year now and he frequently tells me he regrets leaving and he was happy when we were together. We never stopped talking. He's had a couple girlfriends since but has always kept in contact with me. He says he doesn't want to be with me because he doesn't want to hurt me and he just dates these women becasue he doesn't want to be alone. He says he feels like he can't just be with one woman. Is this a phase or do some guys really feel like they can't commit... ever.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I thought the same for a while.

    The two times it changed was when I thought I found my soulmate (practically same interests, not 100% match, but maybe 95% match from food to films to music to just about everything, how we viewed the world), only she broke it off.

    The second was when I fell in love a second time with someone opposite of me, while simultaneously reaching an age (30s) where... this sounds really bad... but I was just starting to lose attention from females. I couldn't, say, walk into a night club and have women flirt with me. The temptations were going away.

    I know that's a horrible reason/confession, but oh well, I think it helped me with the commitment.

    • I am sort of hoping it is just a phase and he will grow out of it he is in his early 30s. I know he has a lot of problems with the woman he is with now but he stays because he doesn't want to be alone.

      I guess I should ask, is it realistic to think that if he does change his mind he will come back or will he most likely change for a new woman? I am just giving him his space to do what he feels he needs to do... get it out of his system I guess you could say. But I'm not sure if this is the right approach.

      What do you think about the fact that he still stays in contact with me? Like daily contact.

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    • But it has to be genuine. You have to genuinely mostly forget about him, genuinely get excited about other things. Fake is the least attractive, like, "look at me, I've moved on!" -- bad.

    • That definetly makes sense. Thanks:)

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What Guys Said 1

  • I know men and women like that. It's really sad too because really they are just trying to fill a void and its at the expense of everyone involved. Not to mention that they will most likely have to settle for whatever they can get because they missed the opportunity to keep what they had.

    • I totally feel he's trying to fill a void. And I do feel bad for the women he dates. They probably take him serious and have no idea it's just a "time kill" for him.

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