Only able to love at first sight.. true?

So im begging you guys to give me some advice or help me understand!

I had a friends with benefits relationship with this guy for almost 6 months. Not like the typical friends with benefits because we weren't friends before, but texting everyday, cuddling, sleeping over that stuff. His familiy even knew about me eventhough we never met. Now he just broke up a few days ago since he doesn't want to hurt me more, because while he cares deeply for me he is not in love with me, while I am, and everyone who has been in a friends with benefits relationship and is in love with the other one knows how killing it is.

Now he told he tried to love me, but he is the type of guy who can only fall in love at first sight, in his opinion. ( that what he had with his ex/first love of 4 years) I believe one can fall in love at first sight though but I also believe its something that can come further on, he is just too stubborn i think to believe that, or maybe just not over his ex yet to be honest ( but does one ever truly get over their first love?) But then he says he tried but he didn't want to go on dates because that would only make me fall for him harder. all the typical answers like maybe the sex was bad or he didn't find you attractive anymore don't apply i know that 200%.

Im now in the no contact phase after the break up (30days no contact at all), hoping he will miss me, he always said I treated him to good, and he even said while we had our friends with benefits relationship if we broke up he would probably come crawling back in a month. But im scared that he won't. I trully think we could work, but he has to be trully open for it. He said himself he is never gonna find a girl better for him then me, but he can't force love. Im just so broken up about it, do you think I have a chance? or what should I do? could I show him that he is making a mistake or will he realise it?

Please help me!
(extra... we are 20 and 22, he got a job and in the military and im still studying)

haha! I know this sounds like a cliche, but he is actually the sweetest guy I have ever met


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well there are many things that can be said here:

    1. He knows himself well and he is firm about his beliefs and theories.

    2. There are some people who believe in love at first sight, and it can happen also, but according to me the chances are very less. I don't know maybe with him it happened that way.

    3. What you are saying is very much a possibility. Yes, there is a good chance that he still thinks about his ex is not over her.

    4. You're right in true terms one can never really move on from their first love, no matter how your first love was but your first love will always remain inside you, they will always be in your mind and your heart. Hence you're right, I am sure he hasn't moved on and that could be the reason he is unable to feel any love for you. Although he feels a strong attachment towards you.

    5. Yes, one can fall in love the second time also, but whether it will be better than the first or not, that totally depends on the two people involved and also the situation.

    6. Yes, you do have a chance but first he has to get over his ex, he still hasn't moved on, without doing that it will be difficult for you to make him realize. Maybe he will realize on his own that's also possible.

    • I hope your right! he said he was over her, he doesn't want to get back with her, she has been begging him to come back for over a year now, since he is so sweet and amazing and all, Im just really scared he is so convinced he can only love at first sight, love can suck so much sometimes! thank you for you advice though! means allot! especially since it doesn't make me run to the corner now and cry my eyeballs out! :/ thank you

    • Thanks for the MHO

    • thank you for your advice

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Bullshit. Bullshit; bullshit.
    Forget him girl. He's just being a jerk.
    Love at first sight? More like lust at first sight.

    Okay. You are the iphone5 okay? You are amazing and always reliable and awesome. But then he looks out the window and sees and iphone6. He wants that instead now.

    Please sweetie; be with someone who will love you first want you first. Go on dates and find someone who will be interested in you.

  • I saw my boyfriend on fb chatting on a girls page 2 years before we met or talked he wasn't even my fb friend. I just seen him off a status I thought to myself for some weird reason the feeling of love and wanting him so bad! Like I knew him forever. What's even weirder is he found me, added me and messaged me first it was over from there. we're together now have a kid and each others names tattooed getting married this loves forever I feel it, honest opened beautiful love I do not believe I'm psychic but something told me when I first seen his picture he was the one. Something I never had happen before. So I'm a strong believer.

    • I do believe it can happen, I just don't think its the only way for someone to fall in love, I believe because he had that with his ex, the only person he was ever in love with he now believes he is only wired that way

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