What to do about ex-boyfriend?

I am 20, I met my first and only boyfriend when I was 15. From the beginning he tried to date me. A year later he did and we dated for two 1/2 years. I was very much in love but he broke up with me saying we fought too much, usually about him not making enough time for me.
I went away for a couple of months to another city but missed him every day. No contact except he messaged me for holidays to say "Happy whatever".
I came back and I decided we didn't really have closure and wanted to meet up. We agreed that we still felt the same and tried again. That only lasted a couple of weeks, he broke up with me and said that he needed to work on himself but he wanted to be friends. Later he stopped responding to my texts since we would argue more as friends due to my feelings and a month later I find out he's dating someone else.
This was a year ago, I decided to end contact. He messaged me once to apologize and I forgave him. For months I have received anonymous advice from someone through Tumblr every time I was upset or had some problem. Last week I found out it was him because he failed to click "anonymous". I know he is dating another girl since he is with her in his Facebook picture. He has seen me around our university and pretends not to know me or see me. He then sends me another message last night after I posted about being upset over something and he was saying he is here if I want to talk, even though he's done stuff wrong in the past not everyone has someone to talk to and he is concerned. And that he knows we can't be friends. I told him I had tried to be his friend before already and he still doesn't want that and he has other things to worry about now. Today he posts "I LOVE (Insert girl's name)" literally in caps, on his page.
I miss him and love him. I have tried to move on, I've stopped checking on him, I've gone out on dates, but these messages have really set me back. I have few friends and I would really like some explanation for his behavior.

I did ask if he was doing this out of pity or guilt and he said no that he was just genuinely concerned. I find it strange he still checks up on me after all this time and no contact. I feel alone most of the time and it's heartbreaking that he's in love with someone else. He never even put a profile picture of us together on Facebook. She even just started working at the same place I worked at a while ago. I guess I also feel replaced. I never knew what I did or didn't do right for him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • He 20 years old and both of y'all are gonna switch up partners before u settle down.


What Girls Said 1

  • Probably feels for you too but the relationship just wasn't working for him. Instead of being honest he lied and said he needed to work on himself and now he's feeling guilty. He's not a bad guy, he's just not the right guy for you. I would say just stop all contact and give yourself to grieve. I went through a really bad breakup a few months ago. It was worse than yours cause he cheated on me and started dating the girl he cheated on me with. For a while I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out why but the why didn't matter, and it doesn't matter now. Give yourself time to cry, give yourself time to miss him, and eventually you'll wake up and it'll hurt a lot less, and then less and then less and then you'll be able to think of the good times and just take them for what they are; memories. I know it's easier said than done but I promise the only thing you can do is survive this feeling right now.

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