Guys, would you be mad if a girl sent you this?

I'll try my best to translate this from danish!

So, a bit info before we start. There's a guy I've been writing with a lot. He asked me out several times, and I said perhaps in the future. I did put you know the heart and kissy face emoji, but I do that to all of my friends, so there isn't any deep feelings behind it. I don't feel like I'm ready to have any relationships, as I'll soon move to another school district and I don't think we'll be able to talk much after that. Plus I'm dealing with some issues and mental disorders, so I'm just not able to have a serious relationship rigth now, and I would never forgive myself if he just kept on having hopes.

The text:


Please forgive me. I'm not really looking for any relationships rigth now, as I'm dealing with some issues that I'm not ready to share, since they're related to some disorderes.
You're like a brother I never had, and I just want to tell you that I don't think that we will be together, as I know that you want to. I hope we still can be friends, but I know that we'll probably need to have a break right now, which I think is best for us.
I know I might seem like a bitch. It's okay for you to hate me. It's also okay if you don't want to be my friend.

You're a great guy and I know that the person for you is out there somewhere - but I just don't want to lead you on to something that won't happen anytime.

I'm very sorry. I hope we still can be friends.


Is this okay? I would tell him in person, but I'm currently IP and I just can't handle visitors right now.


Most Helpful Guy

  • omit:
    "as I'm dealing with some issues that I'm not ready to share, since they're related to some disorderes"
    it contradicts your next statement that you see him as a brother. it basically seems like the first lines were b. s. just to avoid the truth is which you don't see him that way. if you truly see him as a brother/friend simply say that. if you do like him as more than just a friend then omit the part about seeing him as a brother

    "I know I might seem like a bitch. It's okay for you to hate me"
    ---it's not at all "bitchy" to tell him how you feel. you did it kindly and up front so i don't think it's even necessary to say the "bitchy" part

    • Thank you!

      Should I just cut the "I see you as a brother" and "I might seem like a bi..." part out?

    • Show All
    • It's a bit of a mix!
      I see him as a brother - that I wouldn't date because he is a brother.
      My mental issues also plays a big part, as I wouldn't forgive myself if I let other people deal with me (or baby me for that matter ((Bipolar, anxiety, OCD, ED, SCH - diagnosed by psychiatric doctors and shrinks)

      I'm at a place where it would be abuse from my side, to even consider relationships - plus, I know by myself that if I ever got a tiny bit better (which I frankly don't think I ever will) that it would be better for him that I moved, no matter health status.

      No, the moving in itself isn't one of the major reasons. I just don't want to hold him back.

    • i think you should simply say that you see him has a brother (or very very close friend) and you don't see him in a romantic way.

      saying that it's a result of chaning school districts or issues you're dealing with would paint a picture that at some other time you may be available when the fact is you won't because you see him as a friend

      so i would just say that. you see him has a friend. you value his friendship and don't want to lose that friendship.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • That is the best thing you could have told him. You are clear about it, but also very respectful. There is no telling how he will react, but you did the best you could. Seriously, very nicely done!

  • He will like it xD
    No serious it is ok

  • I'd probably just be disappointed. I'd feel like an asshole if I got mad at it.

  • I don't know what I would do but I'd try to calm down and do the best