How to get over your love to your wife if?

so i have been married for 2.5 years to my wife that i deeply love and we have a 1 year old son. she turned out to be a verbally and emotionally abusive and a cheater that said she had feelings for the other guy since before our marriage. i forgave her several times for unfaithfulness with the same guy but only once was physical as far as i know and thats what she admitted. the past 7 months were terrible, she told me she doesn't love me anymore and can't stand being with me almost on a daily basis. she neglected and rejected all kind of intimicy in those months. i kept trying to fix things and convince her to start all over again and forget the past for the sake of our son and our marriage but she kept rejecting all my efforts and said "dont try to fix things. i will never love you no matter what you do. i dont know how long i can last last like this before i leave" but i kept trying. three weeks ago she left the house with our son while i was crying and asking her not to leave and that i love her.3 days after that she started trying to come back by saying she have changed and sorry and that she regrets what she did and the way she treated me. i decided not to take her back and this still is my decision. and i contacted a lawyer to file divorce. i have to admit that she is a good mother and takes good care of our son and he is so attached to her. so im not willing to dettach my son from his mother and keep everything amicable between us for his sake. she is still trying to convince me to give her another chance by manipulating my emotions by saying that we will harm our son and he will have psycological issues from divorce and that kind of talk. now the problem is that i can't lose contact with her because i pick up my son everyday to see him for 3 hours and to spend 7 hours with him on saturdays or sundays. and this will be the case for the rest of our lives maybe. how to get over those emotions and the love i had and move on while we have to stay in contact?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd be polite and civil but otherwise ignore her. Ignore all of her attempts at her trying to apologize, she's cheated multiple times. Emotionally cheating is still cheating in my opinion. You sound like a great husband and father, all you can do is simply be civil now.

    As for getting over her, i'd advise you to fill all of your spare time doing the things that make you happy. You'll still miss her and still care but you need to prove that your will is stronger. You need to be strong for your son and yourself. Are you willing to go through all that pain again with her? Do not allow her to make any conversation unless it's about your son.

    • I am ignoring all her attempts. plus everyone that knew about what happened got angry and started to hate and became furious while I acted totally civil and stayed calm and still have no anger or hate for her. they even were shocked about how I lasted that long and never showed any sign of unhappiness or depression through all that has happened.
      oh hell no! i took the decision to divorce. I'm not going to go through all that again. that's not what I got married for and that's not the life I always dreamed of. all my family remembers that since I was a 10 year old they use to ask me about what I wanted to do when I grow up, I never said an architect or a doctor or whatever, all I used to say was I wanted to get married and have my own house and family and kids. so this isn't what I dreamed of.
      yeah life goes on. but It is really hard to get over her while I have to keep seeing her and contacting her all my life. it makes it harder to fall out of love. I married her out of love after all

Most Helpful Guy

  • Get the worst, most horrible, venomous lawyer you can find... unleash that lawyer like a hellhound on her. Get custody of your son... walk away and dont look back. You are better then her, take everything and leave.

    • im trying to keep things civil and stay as amicable as possible with her for the sake of our son. I don't want to have a conflict in court. and I sure don't want to take our son from her.
      as I said she is a good mother. and I want my son to have both loving parents even when we get divorced. I don't want to be a false example for my son. and I was raised by the most loving and caring parents I have seen. all my friends love my parents and everyone call them the love birds up till now and that is after 34 years of marriage. and this is how I am and the way I want to be and a bad marriage to the wrong person won't change me or change my manners. yeah some of you might say that im stupid to be that peaceful but that's who I am.

    • Bullshit... wrong! Things are already not civil you can't keep them civil. And because you are a man you are at a severe disadvantage in family court which is where this will end up. Learn from the hundreds of thousands of American men who have been taken to the cleaners by their ex wives do not take this lightly. If you refuse to fight the fight you will lose. Don't try to fool yourself into thinking that there is an end to this in which you guys live happily ever after. And it would be better for your son if she wasn't in his life if she treats you this way what makes you think she won't treat him this way. And because you are a man in family court you have to fight 10 times harder to get one tenth of the results that a woman does. If you abstain if you hesitate if you flinch if you have even the slightest moment of weakness you will lose everything. This is not something theoretical idea this is been empirically proven.

    • Thanks for MHO, hope you follow through!

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What Guys Said 1

  • There's only one option. Take her to the lake and hold her under the cold water. It's the only way.
    Even better would be if you live on the coast and have a boat. Take her out on your boat to sea, preferably international waters and lock her an a weighted down box and throw her overboard