My boyfriend of 3 years changed his number. Please help. I don't know what to do?

I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. We had an argument, he asked me to leave his apartment. he has done this many times before, told me I needed to leave in the middle of the night (I live almost 2 hours away) he has issues with alc & he is startin depression, & bi polar meds.

I left w/o a fuss & figured I'd hear from him on mon, like I usually do... this time I didn't. I found out he had been talkin to other girls sun night/mon& got a tinder. I called him up, he denied it.

I called 2x after that, then he text, "stop. we're done. we've been done. don't contact me anymore. I'm not datin you" He's also said this before & then gotten mad that I haven't contacted him. he's blocked my messages before but it lasts less than 2 days.

Sun mornin he loved me & didn't want me to go back home. I asked him if he was lyin when he said that. He said "I'll always love you bc Im a nice person, but you're a horrible girlfriend & I'm over u & your love"
He's said I was a horrible girlfriend a lot, but I do so much to help him, he lost his license & i drove him around for months, an our each way so he could work, (I would sit at the library or coffee shops until they closed, then wait in my car) I took him to interviews so he could start is career job once his degree was finished, hours away from where I live so I would sit in the car & wait. I'd take him to the dr, to run errands, to court. Thousands of miles.
I'd also be there emotionally, he'd call me crying @ 2,3,4am & even tho I was on call I'd go be there for him. I'd wake up to 16 missed calls at 2a, bc he thought I was cheating (I never have, but he's cheated a lot) He'd even harrass my family in the middle of the night

I thought he'd reach out again, like he always has before. V Day is soon & the thought of him on a date w/ another girl, gettin her flowers is crushing me. Last night I found out he changed his # & he didn't tell me. I'm devastated. I don't know how to a


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Most Helpful Guy

  • if people can grieve over a death and move on from it then moving on from a relationship is easier. you will grieve for a month but just know its all in the mind. you will have to be active and talk to friends to move on. you will meet someone else like everyone else

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly you should be happy, look back and read what he does to you, attempts to let you go out alone at 2 am to find somewhere else, he basically uses you for convenience says horrible stuff to you and calls you a bad girlfriend. Why would you want to still be with someone who emotionally cheats on you too? Whose to say he hasn't even went on those dates with them. Valentines day is just a day, it shouldn't be treated like any other day, he changed his number good. You can cut him out of your life and move on.

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    • He's done SO many horrible things, but it wasn't all bad. We've had a lot of good times. I still love him & it hurts. I've lost my friends, I quit my job. He didn't get me flowers the past 2 valentines days. V Day 2014 he cheated on me, when I was out of town. He's threatened my life, broke my cell phone. I know these are all horrible things, but I still love him, and feel like my world has ended.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Do you really need this drama and uncertainty? Leave him find someone who actually cares.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Seriously? Wow. He's made it quite clear what his intentions are and changing his number confirmed it. You weren't a horrible girlfriend, he is a horrible person. Why waste another minute on someone who treats you like this? Relationships are meant to pull you up, not drag you down.

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  • Why the fuck are you with this guy? Mental illness diagnoses aren't a carte blanche to treat other people like garbage. He sounds like a terrible person. You're better off without him. He sounds emotionally abusive.

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    • He is abusive, but he completed a court ordered abuse class. He has gotten better, but the emotional & verbal is still there. The hard part is that It wasn't all bad, we've had a lot of great times. We've spent so much time together, and been through so much. I've neglected myself, put my school, job on hold & put so much into helping him now I feel like he just used me. I've lost my friends, I quit my job. & I don't know how to handle this.

    • You've put up its enough. You deserve better. Move on. I know it's easier said than done but he's drained enough of you.

  • No offence but the dude sounds insane.

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  • Girl, you are WAY better off. It may hurt you now to see or hear him being with other girls but he will treat those other girls the same way he treated you. Time will heal things, don't waste your time even thinkin about him anymore, you'll find someone who will actually appreciate you!

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  • Sweetie, what you're describing is called codependency. It's an emotionally unhealthy state where you are attached to someone with problems because they need you so much. I strongly suggest that you find out where your local Al-Anon group is and go to a meeting. It's free and it's designed for people who are in relationships like yours. Please... it can't hurt.
    https://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

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    • I know Al-Anon and Alateen are for families of alcoholics, but I believe they also help people who are in similar types of situations. The behavior that you're describing is very typical of an alcoholic. Even if they say they're not the right group for you, they should be able to point you in the direction of an appropriate support group. You really need to work on you right now. Please, please get some help and get your own head straight before you try to deal with him. I know you're really hurting but sometimes pain will drive is back into a bad situation. I know because I've been there. ((Hugs))

  • Girl he's an ass, you should thank you're lucky stars he's gone. DON'T TAKE HIM BACK.

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  • Oh honey... I would like to kick his ass now!! He is a fucking idiot and he does not deserve you! You don't really love him, that's an illusion. He is

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    • He is like some sort of drug for you. But listen, can you imagine future with him? Do you really want such an awful life? There are many kind and normal people, why do you waste your time with a sick man? He doesn't love you, he is using you... I know it hurts to think about him giving roses to another girl, but she is just unimportant as you are. He can't love. He is selfish and he can only fuck.

  • So... why exactly have you allowed him to remain part of your life? He's abusive, rude, and a cheater... why are you still with him?
    Abuse is horrible, but at a certain point you have to accept some responsibility for continuously allowing him to treat you this way. If he's so awful, leave.

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  • I was an an abusive relationship sounds like that's what yours was also. I think it's best you accept him cutting all ties and leave it be. He clearly said he doesn't want to be with you time to move on and find a good guy. Who cares if Valentine's Day is coming up. he Absoloutly is probably with some other girl but at least he is her problem now and not yours!

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  • Please move on from this Arse hole and meet a nice caring man

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