I have said before that my husband tend to add other lots of girls on social media (snapchat, Instagram etc..) and I caught him once talking through whatsapp with a girl which he claim he worked with her and he even send her his pics and his excuse is that I shouldn't have looked through his phone and made a big deal out of it and made me look like I'm the one to blame when my parents came to solve between us! My parents told me to stop looking though his stuff or I will not be able to live my life happy
ok this happened maybe like 6 months ago
but now I still can't trust him
every once and I while I like to check if everything is alright
I know he has girls on snapchat and that he send him videos and talk to them but nothing more
today I discovered that he talk to one of them through the phone and even named her close to my name
I'm in total shock and I don't know what to do
i really want to go and tell him that I know but he will turn this thing against me
because I opened his phone and looked through his stuff
should I Ask my parents what to do?
or should I hint to him something?
Please help me !
we've been married for one year and a half or maybe a little more
Especially if they're married
And to be clear, I saw him doing a collage of her pics
He replied that I'm always suspicious and that he would not justify his acts anymore
Because he thinks I'm stupid and don't know anything 😔
Most Helpful Guy
I see it as this:
While he may be able to try and twist excuses like "going through his phone" and such, as a married couple you should have full disclosure on things like this. Trust is incredibly important in a relationship.
However, looking through a phone without context can also cause issues. For instance, him talking to a girl does not necessarily mean he is doing anything outside the bounds of appropriate relationship etiquette. Him talking to girls is not bad. Him doing something more than just "friends" is bad.
I would confront him more on the general worries that you are feeling with him adding a bunch of girls on social media, snapchat, whatsapp, etc.. Ask him to keep you more informed on what is going on. I get the feeling that you would be happier and trust him more if he told you kind of what was up. The distrust seems to be caused that he is being a bit secretive with how he is going about it.
On your end, going through his phone is probably not the best solution. Why? Because doing so may cause you to jump to conclusions about what was going on. (Unless you found him sending stuff like nudes or whatever, but that is a different story).
On both your sides, there seems to be trust issues. You are having trust issues with him cheating, and (assuming he isn't actually cheating) he is having trust issues with communicating to you stuff.
If these continue, I may suggest couples counseling to hash out the differences. Yeah-- many see the words "couple counseling" and go eww, but from the people I've heard go to it, I've heard them say it has helped in their relationship.1
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Most Helpful Girl
If he doesn't want you to look into his stuff, he shouldn't give you a reason to -.-1