Are we broken up or what?

We've been in a casual relationship for a year.

I was asking questions that he missinterpreted as being judgmental about his culture. Details aren't necessary but long story short I unintentionally behaved rudely.

Him ", I don't need to belabor the issue. I just didn't appreciate your words or actions. And it's really not the first time that I felt like your assumptions or perspective didn't resonate well with me. Like I said, it's about seeing things differently. And I don't think that gets reconciled."
Me-"I feel like I tried and I just keep screwing up. I enjoyed our times together so much and I wanted so badly for this to work. I'm still willing to try. But I understand if you don't."
Him-"Try what? I don't think we were on the same page what we were trying. I thought we were being casual and then you seemed confused about it. "
Me-" So you didn't want more anyway."
Him-"So I am not blaming you for "screwing it up". I just think we see things differently"
Me-"So do you want to stop seeing eachother?"
Him-"I was not ever closed off to the idea of "more" but I also wasn't trying to commit to it either. I wanted things casually between us to see how things organically materialize."
Me-,"Do you feel that if things were going to fully materialize it would have happened by now?"
Him-"Hm I guess. But at the same time, I didn't necessarily close things off."
I then explained I knew it was casual I just didn't know what kind of casual. If it was ever heading towards something more or what. I told him I hoped for more but kept my options open.
I said,"OK, I'm done rambling". He said, "It's not rambling, it's sharing." Then the convo died. He never answered if he wants to stop seeing me.
OK... So is it over or what?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I would suggest that you let things die down and smooth over first. Don't act hastily. Contact him in a day or two to see where he stands.

    • He wrote yesterday, "I just saw the flood warning. Hope your area is safe." And I responded that it was.

      But then I told him about a funny follow up to something that I had spoken to him about last week.(One of my staff called out sick to work at another job. A big no no.) I wrote, "I just found out which Target she works at. So we're going to pick up office supplies there the next time she calls out. I'm laughing thinking about the look on her face "

      I felt compelled to write it since he was always interested in my work stories.

      He wrote, "Ha".

      Not sure what to think of that whole exchange.

    • Besides he's clearly not interested anymore.

What Girls Said 2

  • I think you just need to give him some space. If you were a bit clingy i'd give it a week. There's nothing you can do but wait right now. See how he reacts in a week.

  • I think he wants it to be over but i'm not saying that for certain.

    • He wrote yesterday, "I just saw the coastal flood alert, hope your area is safe". I wrote that it was. But then I stupidly gave him an update on this work situation that I told him about last week. How I discovered that an employees's been calling out sick to work at some store. I told him that I just found out where it is, so I plan on showing up with other staff on the day she calls out. And seeing the look on her face. He wrote, "Ha." I only told him because he was always interested in those stories.

      From that exchange and the fact that he hasn't written anything since, shows that it's truly over. Don't you think?