My ex totally downgraded, yet I'm super jealous?

I am someone who you woudl consider wife material. my ex recently cheated on me and dumped me. now he is with a loud, party girl who talks to many boys at once and Im really upset that he chose me over her. what do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think you truly believe he downgraded. Based on my guestimate of his age, he was never ready for "wife material" and is still in the mood to party and drink with friends. You were the anchor to a stable life that he currently does not want - so he dumped you for a big titty party girl and it's a major blow to your ego. Hence you've created this imaginary belief that he downgraded.

    One day when he's older, he'll leave his party days behind and search for someone similar to who you are now. There's not much you can do but to move on. Luckily, girls tend to forget about ex-boyfriends more easily. I suspect he will regret his decision 5 or 6 years from now, when he wants to settle down but doesn't have anyone suitable to make his wife.

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    • this was great advice, thank you!

    • you think he will regret it later on and want me back?

    • No, not within the time frame you are thinking of. He will probably enjoy his partying life for a number of years. Guys today delay starting a family much longer than our parents/grandparents. He won't really be settling down for another 3-5 years, or even longer. I suspect that he will when he reaches his early 30's. By that time, you'll have moved on a long time ago and will have forgotten about him.

      Unfortunately for guys, it's usually the girls who have the power to select what guys they get - mainly because there is no shortage of desperate men around these days. You, as a girl, only need to make a Plenty of Fish account to see how many men will come knocking at your door if you're single. Guys have a hard time picking up girls these days. So when he's older, he'll likely have trouble finding someone to settle down with... making him reminisce about better times with you and regret breaking up. Generalizations though...

Most Helpful Girl

  • What do you do?

    Stop tracking the progress (or lack of progress) in his journey and focus on experiencing success and progress in your own. I hate to break it to you, love but what he does with his life is no longer your concern nor your business. If he chooses to stick is dick in every hole in the city, catch gonorrhea, then get married in Vegas the following month, it is no longer your concern for you to think about, worry about, or be emotionally effected by. You two are no longer together so it's time for you to move forward. Don't stay stuck in reverse mentally over some jerk who cheated on you.

    What you need to do is focus on how you are going to be the absolute best woman you can possibly be so that you can experience an amazing, fulfilling, wonderful journey in life! :D Now's your chance to really be selfish as a single woman and strictly focus on attaining all of the delightful things you wish to receive from life without the process being disrupted by some sleazy, deceitful asshole's indecision. That's exciting! Now is the time for you to take an honest look at your strengths and shortcomings then formulate a plan to balance them out and strengthen your attributes to their absolute best so that you can be prepared to enjoy doors of opportunity whenever and wherever they open! You may want to start at what seems to be arrogance and an inflated sense of your skill set for a man. I could be wrong, but it's pretty cocky for you to deem yourself as marriage material and demean her as less because she's different from you. Anyhow, stay positive be strong, nurture your self-esteem and sense of self-love, be graciously kind and patient with yourself, and move on so that you can get back to enjoying life!

    P. S. He most likely chose her over you because deep down, subconsciously he knows what he deserves: Less. Somewhere on his realm of consciousness, he's aware that he deserves significantly less than what he had so that is what he seeks and approaches without even realizing it.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • The beginning to solving your problem is to understand the reason he left. What caused the separation, when you identify the problem; eliminate it, to avoid reoccurrence. Learn to manage your emotions, I know it can be hurtful but replace the hate with love.

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  • Why do you care what your ex is doing... ex's drag you down in life. He has moved on and could give a rat's ass about you, he should not even cross your mind!

    If that is the type of girl he wants, then obviously he is not a good choice for you! He sounds immature to choose a loud party girl over you anyway. I think you dodged a bullet to be honest!

    The big thing is, no guy will have anything to do with you now if they can detect that the break-up is still bothering you.

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  • you're jealous because you still care.

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  • You can't just say "I'm someone who you would consider wife material"

    That's like me telling a woman "You want to have sex with me". I don't think it's up to you lol

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  • Masturbate to the thought of both of them having sex.

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  • Either he isn't ready to settle down, so she's what he wants... or...

    he didn't consider you wife material.

    Quite possibly both.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Get on with life

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  • You feel downgraded because you see yourself as wife material, nothing wrong with that but, you see her as a promiscuous women because you place that stereotype on women who are party girls. You see women like that as women who do not get into relationships. You somehow feel that him cheating had something to do with you but he is just an asshole.

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