Why do women initiate the most divorces when its them who're the most excited about marriages anyway?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because women have this glamorised perception of marriage, that they don't actually understand what it entails.

    They jump with joy thinking that it's gonna be a fairy tale only to have those delusions crushed by reality.

    They marry someone they don't know that well, too soon and think everything will be gravy, but after awhile those fairy tale expectations aren't met, so they want out.

    Don't get me wrong, there are many valid reasons to want a divorce such as infidelity, violence, alcoholism, drug abuse, etc.
    To ignore those factors and make a blanket statement about women filing for divorce as being these evil harpies is akin to women crying about a wage gap without considering field of work, worked hours/overtime, time off due to pregnancy, etc.

    One always has to consider the variables. To do otherwise would be intellectually dishonest.

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    • That's the most logical answer I've seen

    • The trend going forward is less marriage across Western society. As single women continue to out-earn their male counterparts, this appears to be best for both genders.

      Marriage laws have to be reformed but that could take a century before this issue reaches the forefront of political discourse. Shit needs to hit the fan.

    • True you should consider the variables however not only do they file for divorce at a rate of 80% but the most sited reason is irreconcilable differences ie no fault. Now if we take the total percentage of men who have cheated (considered to be about 20%, at least in america) and apply it only to married men and presume every single one of them where caught and every single one of them where divorced because of it, we still have a 60% rate. Now we can say that maybe its abuse but all statistical data shows that men are actually far more likely to be the victims of both physical and emotional abuse then women. So this should actually inflate male filings not womens, yet 60% of male initiated divorces (12% in total) are for wifes infidelity. So we still have a huge discrepency that is not being accounted for. Which is what makes this so strange and confusing.

Most Helpful Guy

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What Girls Said 6

  • I remember reading about this! Women have a fairytale view of what married life is going to be like. But when it comes to marriage, men are better off. Women are worst off. In terms of career, married men have a greater chance of promotion as they are seen as stable and reliable. Women are disadvantaged because the employer feels that they are going to be starting a family, and don't want to be promoting them to positions of responsibility, only to have them leave. Men have greater health in marriage. Women's health is worse (statistics shows that is because she is taking care of others a over herself). A woman completes more household chores, than a man, but works the same hours outside the home. I will see if I can find the article/ study.

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    • That study is hogwash, because other studies have revealed that women in the workforce are more unhappy and that women, or most women, are more happy when they are married and full time mothers. Why would a woman want to be stuck in employment when she can have a loving husband providing for her? This is down to the brainwashing of feminism and the corrupt divorce laws that encourage women to divorce their husbands.

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    • Well I always try to have a thoughtfull discussion otherwise what would the point be? Glad you are accepting of a difference of opinion!(not many are saddly)

  • For the marriage part I don't know but when it comes to divorce I heard that women are more likely to be honest about feelings of unhappiness, more likely to leave a situation that they don't want to be in, and less likely to stay in a marriage for factors that don't involve the couple.(kids, neighbors and friends) I think it's more so the fact a man will stay in an unhappy situation for longer.

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  • That's a good question! I never looked at it like that, but you're right! We do do that don't we lol.

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  • Because men don't realize that their behavior is harmful to the relationship and the woman has to make the decision. If a man has a woman who is taking care of the house and kids, managing the money, etc. then often he feels like everything's fine and he doesn't have to invest anything in the relationship other than a paycheck. He's got sex on call when he wants it, and if he wants someone else on the side she'll be too busy to notice. She'll put up with his bad moods because she doesn't want to be a single parent and is worried about the kids.

    So from the man's point of view why would he end something that's working great for him?

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    • While i agree that some men are assholes and abuse their wives in that way... but you're talking about hte lower income families that can't afford to spend lots of money or a very small number of medium class families with an asshole husband, iam not going to base this off studies so bear with me... When i look around me i see happy and unhappy couples they are not divorced or anything, the women usually take care of the house and have a 6-7 hours office job while the man works 8+ hours sometimes reaching 10 or 12 a day ( regardless of what he does for a living ) and these men who make enough money dont deny their wives anything in fact their wives spend money like crazy on stupid things, sometimes i wonder whats the fuss about, the only situation in which a woman can't spend money or have a happier marriage is because her husband doesn't make enough money, now are you willing to leave your husband if he's in such a need for you? i u do it means you just wanted his money.

    • if you put everything aside for a moment and look at everything from a logical standpoint, not an abusive relationship, the husband is not alcoholic... etc you still have normal families with unhappy wives, why? money, money plays a role in peoples happiness if your hubsand doesn't make enough you're gonna be mad cause you can't do anything about it, and if you find a job to help him you will neglect your kids and house chores, you can't afford a maid, your husband works long hours 6 days a week and now you are trying to find a job... see the situation we're in? feminists dont take that into consideration when they argue about women rights, men usually work longer hours so whos better, a man working 12 hours 6 days a week or his wife who works 7 hours 5 days a week? no of course that man has the priority so he should be continuing to work and his wife should take care of everything else, and divorce means she's just in for the money...

  • I don't wonna get married ever...

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  • They did all the administrative duties in the marriage and continue to do so in the divorce. My cousin did all the filing and her husband had impregnated someone else and moved out, for instance. I know several situations like this. Who filed isn't good indication of who wanted it to end more.

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    • may i ask how long did that divorce take to be completed?

    • I'm not sure. It's been a few years ago now.

What Guys Said 12

  • Kind of as a very broad and general answer, I think marriages don't work when people romanticize the expectations that follow afterwards, and don't have very practical expectations.

    The people most eager to marry are usually the most romantic with their expectations, and probably the most likely to be disappointed with how things turn out after.

    I got married for practical reasons like wanting to get a house over an apartment, getting tired of partying all night, wanting kids, things like that. I made sure my wife understood that as well, that we're not getting married because we're in love, we can stay in love and live together without that.

    It's not very romantic but marriage should be viewed that way if people want it to last, to go into it with very realistic expectations, not cementing love and living happily ever after.

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    • I agree with this part 'The people most eager to marry are usually the most romantic with their expectations'.

  • If you know you're getting a great deal, you're going to be eager to make the commitment.

    Another way of looking at it is that you have the upper hand in negotiating a contract. You aren't responsible for most financial liabilities, you aren't responsible for most damages, and you will be compensated well for your time if the contract doesn't live up to expectations.

    Anyone with common sense will ask... "Where do I sign up?"

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    • Unfortunately, that is exactly how my mom tried convincing me that I needed to get married to my boyfriend. That it would be a lot safer for me.😤

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    • @truthhammer

      It means that we already agree on the matter. :P

      A pastor normally preacher to the patrons, of whom some may not be believers yet. The choir is usually comprised of people that already have faith and are stood behind the pastor. For a pastor to turn away from the patrons to preach to already believers would be redundant.

    • @MaskedSanity oh ok that's what I thought too.

      But patrons need to keep hearing as its through hearing that faith is strengthened. Lol I grew up in the church although I m not a typical christian.

  • 1) because they know they'll win 80-90% of the times
    2) because people will always talk shit about the husband being an asshole to make the "poor woman" leave.
    3) Because free house, car and half of his salary- YEAAAH!!
    4) KIDS.. did I mention the custody of the kids?

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  • So basically what this is telling me is there's very few decent girls left that believe in marriage and they all want a divorce for stupid little shit? Then what, grow old and die alone or next to your meaningless f*** B***y or how about find another man to divorce. Ha! my parents are in their sixties and they're still married I think their total yearly income was like 20,000. I guess she better leave him. Oh and don't even get me started about sending the woman to work. My mom was there for me and my sister when I was a kid. Not some damn Daycare center that will charge you out the a** for something a mother should be doing anyway. Like spending time with her kids. Awesome generation this is. I actually think the collapse of society would fix this although then you would have another one. But that could be solved by going back to the original bill of rights and the constitution and throw everything else the fuck out. I don't know what it will take An Armed revolution throughout the United States. It's bound to sooner or later, history repeats itself.

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  • Women are more desperate for commitment and talk about being more for it, yet call it quits much more. I think it's because they haven't really matured emotionally as much as they might think they are. They're more often in love with idea of being in love and being treated like a "taken" woman than actually being in love.

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  • For shits and giggles.

    I don't know haven't been married. Also I'm not a woman which really makes it hard for me to answer...

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    • Surprisingly that's a very sane thing to say, seeing as how more women than men have answered here.

    • Sorry, more men than women.

  • They jump into a marriage because they think that is what they want, and if they don't like it they can divorce with minimal risk and maximal gain.

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  • Bitch had a fantasy for an ideology for what marriage and love should look like.

    There's a reason why the vows included for better or for worse.

    All feelings fade no matter how rich or beatiful your partner is. Whats left is character and devotion.

    Expect boredom and expect the feeling to fade. It happens in relationships but stll stay together and live. Thats marriage but people are brainwashed by the media and holy wood.

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    • Then she wants out realising taking her husband's money will give her independence while ruining his life.

      No wonder men just wanna play the part to get sex and ditch them. The thing is, women think they are good when they're not and think they're worth more than they are.

  • The lower earner is more likely to inniate divirce because they have more to gain.

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    • I also think a lot of women marry men they aren't really that attracted to.

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    • @Jimrat86

      I've been living in the UK for little over 4 years, but am originally Russian.😛

    • @MaskedSanity

      I agree. I dont think its something they plan out from the beginning.

  • Maybe they were looking forward to the actaull ceremonyan d not the whole living with himthinglol. Or they just flat out dont know what they want.

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  • i can't wait to get married

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  • Because women are very fickle and the divorce laws are designed to benefit women more than men.

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